Tuesday, November 16, 2004

how to deal...women are dogs too!

who would have thought a moment of purging would result in a conversation between not only women but between men and women. i am thankful for ALL of your comments. and if you have more -- please, feel free to keep it coming. i will post all of the reponses that i get in this case, as i believe this is where the lessons begin. this is where the healing begins. even those infiltrators. i implore you -- bring the realness. when you become honest with yourself -- watch the world catch aflame!

i have simply copied and pasted the comments, conversations and viewpoints. this is more of a response than i could ever have asked for. let's make a change people...and if you ain't ready for change -- get the fuk outta my way!


Conversations with Real Women and Men...

11/16/04


derri427: I was getting angry/annoyed reading it
mahogany browne: how so??
derri427: thinking about how much I agree with you but really don’t want to
mahogany browne: who u tellin! annoyed with reading or the topic?
derri427: I don’t want to feel that hate toward other black women. I’m annoyed remembering that I feel the same way. but women push up.
mahogany browne: entirely too hard
derri: it's all self hate though
derri: see....that’s the true transgression right there
derri: it's really about respect and perspective
derri: people lack that, we're out for self so fuck the emotional repercussions
mahogany browne: I can dig that
derri: I understand the thought process but I don’t identify with it
derri: see, this is my thing now, I know they're that way b/c of some lack of love/care in their life and I don’t want to continue to inflict but I won't do it at the cost of letting myself be disrespected....and therein lies the rub
derri: know what I appreciate the most about the poem though....? the emphasis you place on the love between the women and sideline the men in the middle
derri: b/c they truly are just middlemen in a lot of cases
derri: I just don’t understand how someone can act with that much disregard
mahogany browne: me neither
mahogany browne: I never ever would do it
mahogany browne: I had many chances
mahogany browne: and as soon as I found out they were married or whateva
mahogany browne: I LEFT
mahogany browne: I felt it my duty, not to hurt another woman
mahogany browne: and I know that’s a bit much
mahogany browne: but I believe we as woman can stop this problem if we say NO
derri: exactly
mahogany browne: leave her then fuk wit me or not at all!
derri: (men and their decision making is a whole other conversation)
mahogany browne: word up!
mahogany browne: i'm not even gonna take it there!
derri: I don’t know what it is, maybe women feel like the pool of eligible men is drying up so now its grab-n-go when it comes to relationships
mahogany browne: that’s not the focal point
derri: another day
mahogany browne: word!
derri: another poem
mahogany browne: but the problem still lies within
derri: oh definitely
derri: question is how do you get inside to fix it
mahogany browne: which is my dilemma
derri: when a FRIEND can be that fake with what you thought were their inner feelings, you have to stop to think what’s the extent of that inner destruction and are they past helping
derri: the optimist in me says no but sometimes I wonder
mahogany browne: I try not to be a pessimist
mahogany browne: but
mahogany browne: everything in my history tells me not to trust women
mahogany browne: and not to trust men...men you sleep with anyway
derri: lol...damn, isn’t that sad
mahogany browne: so
mahogany browne: i've worked on my trust issues with men
mahogany browne: speaking up about concerns before they fester
mahogany browne: and as far as women
mahogany browne: I try harder
mahogany browne: because men are another species
mahogany browne: but I feel like, you my sista
mahogany browne: if I just put myself in your shoes -- it will work out
derri: you feel the more intimate the relationship the more tenuous the trust....yeah but people just don’t do that
mahogany browne: exactly!
derri: its crazy that things work that way
mahogany browne: it is
derri: I think it’s a good thing that you’re hurt over it
mahogany browne: yea?
mahogany browne: I don’t know...
derri: if you weren’t that would mean you'd become numb to feelings and made yourself "okay" with bullshit



VIC: I think its good...I think we've all been on that side of it and it seems very true to the experience
VIC: I’ve been on both sides of the issue
VIC: I know how it feels to love someone who's with someone else
VIC: I also know that you can love them and understand and respect their situation
VIC: and be responsible and NOT cross those lines
mahogany browne: that’s my point
mahogany browne: NOT crossing those lines
mahogany browne: is a big difference
VIC: I also know that women aren’t born to do that...be conniving and covet etc.
VIC: usually they had experiences that made them get into those situations
mahogany browne: hmmmm
VIC: I’ve been betrayed by a friend of mine, who slept with my guy with no regard for me. I know she did it because she has emotional issues I’ve forgiven her...but it took me like 10 yrs
mahogany browne: we as women have nurtured other women thru these things. my question is why do continue doing it to other women? the cycle is perpetuated by the same creatures that have suffered from it
VIC: I think that it’s more than a "woman" issue
mahogany browne: I think that’s where it starts
VIC: I think it’s bigger than that
mahogany browne: it affects everyone. but it’s like gratuitous booty shots. it won’t stop until there is a halt in the practice of women
VIC: its the 'fuck you...ima get mine" mentality. it runs all through our community etc
mahogany browne: exactly
mahogany browne: but in this case
mahogany browne: this is something that can change
VIC: fuck the community...i’m going to sell my drugs and get the rims fuck the consequences...i’m fuckin them bitches and doin me and if they get pregnant that’s on them as a community its our responsibility to be responsible with our knowledge and with other people
mahogany browne: why would we continue behavior that we have seen self-destruct
mahogany browne: like some sort of spiteful vindictive BITCH shyt!




wow that’s deep and important because so many women are ignorant to effect of their actions and the repercussions of their actions. I think it’s always been here and it will always be here. You take it like you take all forms of ignorance, with a quick dismiss and keep movin’. Being in a relationship I’ve been on the receiving end of unwanted advances once in a awhile you drop wifeys name as to not be rude most of the time they’ll get the point. There’s always a lil’ demon inside of men saying - you could get that easily. She’s on you. But love beats the hell out that demon every time at least for me it does. And it’s an even bigger boast to my lil ego to decline :-) Keep writing sis. You have something to say and I love you for that.

Yayo


I fully agree with it. I think that sisterhood is no longer the same because of women like that and more importantly the lives many of those women come out of believe they're nothing if they don't have all the male attention. Comes from not having good fathers many times. Thus they seek the love they never got in the world and feel threatened by other women as competition for their goals… Maybe she's jealous of the purity of your relationship. But anyway that's some foul shit. I hope you're through with her.

Kenji


Unfortunately, the act of disrespect has become prevalent now moreso than ever. I have no doubt that this existed among woman before, but it seems to be the common norm now with songs from woman hip hop artists bragging about how your man wants to be with her or can't forget her p***y or how she's waiting for an opportunity to be alone with your man. Sisters have each others' backs when they're in a group, but quickly flip the script when they're on their own and alone with your man. Babyface had a song where he tries to reason with his woman, stating that her girlfriend wasn't really a friend and tried to get into his pants when his woman's not there. Trust is a gift, but not many are worthy of it. Sometimes it's unintentional. Maybe we're products of society or maybe we just don't give a damn. We just put on the front that we have morals, but deep inside would do anything if we weren't caught. It sounds to me that, based on your blog, some women are no better than men. I found your written piece very moving and close to home. Because even as a man I have experienced what you have and so have others surrounding me. Hence, I had to cutoff some people I never intended to, because I grew up... and they chose not to; or we simply grew out of whatever it was we were... *shaking head* In any case, your piece is on point and should be a monologue. It's that good and I hope you do something with it and consider submitting it to a contest a magazine or something. Keep me posted, Warrior Princess.

~MUSE

1 comment:

MsSLA said...

Hey Mo! I feel you on what you wrote. I think that it is really sad that people can lead you to not trust anyone. I suffered through that pain myself for a long time because reality hit me. I used to be naive to the fact to think that it would ever happen to me....Or better yet, I thought I was quick on my feet and I would be able to cut a person off before they could ever burn me. However, that was not the case. I learn from experience that you should listen to your Spirit. My inner self kept telling me something wasn't right. However, I didn't have proof..Nothing was done in front of my face. I think that us woman want it actually thrown in our face before we are able to actually solve the problem. I agree w/some of the other comments I read. Those that do sneaky and deceiving things have issues w/in themselves. Their insecurities is the biggest factor. It is funny because a while back I was watching a show on T.V. and a woman stated she messes w/married men because she was scared of commitment. She felt if she was seriously committed to someone, they would cheat on her like many of the married men who cheated on their wives. But that is plain IGNORANCE...because either way you look at it, YOU ARE STILL BEING PLAYED. I think that if these women learn to love themselves then they would not put themselves out there like that. Regardless of their past, they need to learn how to love themselves and forgive so they can move on and not hurt others. We all have some sob story from our childhood life but do we use it as a crutch. Get over it !!! Music and media doesn't help either. If you are a weak person you will find yourself caught up w/what people and society keep throwing out at you. Believe me the Enemy loves that....All I can say is that in order to overcome the pain you must realize that it is both of the parties loss. GOD does things for reasons...and that reason is for us to wake up and realize that they ain't real and to keep steppin. Remember everyone reaps what they sow. I can testify to that... Keep strong! Don't let the Enemy cause a chain reaction because believe me that is what he wants....