Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
ok. so i admit it. im watching hulk's reality show -- he is kinda bitch-like! he sets up his son to get in an argument with the son's 15 year old girlfriend, all because he wants more attention... can u say HUH?
we talked about it all nite. it's a bit disheartening to see the process. but that's how it goes. i know for a fact you have to fall out of like with it to fall deeper in love with it. we'll just hope nationals saves the day with this one. that and our show: JAM ON IT -- next saturday AUG 6th. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. uhh - did i say this show was sold out? niiiice!
we have a going away party for central nj slam team. it's at our slammaster's house. and all i can say is where's the bbq SON?! will tell you how it all pans out in 2 and 2!
Thursday, July 28, 2005
last we talked i was in corpus christi. it was here that drove on the beach (yes DROVE) for almost 2 miles. i learned to fly a kite, stepped in the Texas gulf and prayed. it was so beautiful. will show the pics - i promise.
afterwards, i went to san antonio -- they have the closest thing to a Texan Nuyorican ever. the spot is known as house of the hecklers to natives, but as Puro Slam to us other folk. cats had me shook to even rock there. i was warned they will yell at you during your slam. talk over you. make you cry and invite you out to fight afterwards.
none of this happened...not to me anyway. it was fly as hell! beautiful people. vocab picked me up from the bus station and jo, kim and bryan met me at the spot to escort me back to austin. very flyy indeed.
next day was the conference. since i didnt get into kim's crib until 3 something (cause homegirl lives in HUTTO - i say it like puttwo with an H?) got up fresh and early like 8 and headed to the conference. i asked for specific poets to accompany me in the substance abuse conference presentation. and i must say - we ripped dat bytch apart! people were sneaking into the conference room, as they were told we were too full and they weren't allowed to sign up. puhleez!
you know me, you know i don't give a damn. so we had chairs on the makeshift stage, people sitting on the stairs and it was gorgeous! there were so supportive and happy to be there and alive, that i felt like giving them my product for free. but i didnt cmon, now?! lol
after that 3 hour session we got some grub at the cheesecake factory, then had to get in the obligatory nap. i hit ego's that night as a special guest. this is where i witnessed my first MOONING ON STAGE (courtesy of Big Poppa E's bright ass). whoa///
right after i rocked on stage, i had to young blond haired southern college frat boys come up to me and thank me til my hand went numb. i was more surprised at the color line poetry crossed - and that's some powerful shyt to swallow.
left for neo souldier's new spot Antonio's which was on fire as soon as i stepped in the door. booked for double features is hard and here i was -- rocking 4 different sets in the same day. with the limp! holla lmao - but it was so worth it. my people's kevin (who dates ms. bell's lil sista small ass world!) was in the spot - we rocked together twice in LA so it was good to see him traveling and prosperous. this white boy got more soul than a little. trust dat! and i get to hobble on stage for the last time in Austin. so i think i just poured it out on stage like water. i left hobbling after 3 poems with a standing ovation.
i love austin... it's like a warm sweatshirt that never fades and is always fitted, comfortable and in style. and i'm so very lucky that austin loves me back! i get to go bowling tonite ya'll! wish me and the ankle luck. then i'm headed back to nyc to recouperate and get ready for the nationals in new mexico (aug 9 - 14)!
love ya like cooked food -- dat's right: collard greens, sweet cornbread, candied yams and mac n cheese.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
it's been a long time - i shouldn't have left you -- without a funky blog to step to! give it up for RAKIM! even when im trying to be corny with a side of cool - his lyrics bring me thru. :)
whassup web fam. i feel like it's been a minute. my bad. just didn't have internet access during the weekend. let me 'xplain
after we checked into the embassy suites (crazy beautiful, crazy expensive)
after jive and fish walked through the doors and my world is so much better
after i realized how much i missed j walking in all shaved and beautiful...
after we head to the theatre just in time to rock an impromptu "dress rehearsal"
after we grab a bucket of hot wings (about 50) and movies from blockbuster
after breakfast (for free) i'm talking freshly made mushroom and cheese omelette
with a crazy buffet - that i just couldn't eat (unlike fish and jive)
after we have a poetry workshop - with a turnout of a WHOPPING 8 (love to the seattle slam team & who's this?)
after all dat -- we head to the theatre for our show
about 10 minutes late
why: because fish is starving -- so chipotle for everyone!
it's this mexican grill that is the truth, yo!
fish gets pork, chicken and steak something or other
jive gets some steak and chicken joint
i rock a chicken burrito - jessica eats something while driving
(crazily) to the theatre - now 25 minutes late
we sit and listen to a funky ass band call VEGAS WITCHCRAFT
my girl, catherine from the spot, is there and the show
is a blast
i get a standing ovation
and leave the stage - prepared for jive to trump me
it's our ritual. we feed off each other's energy
there is a much better crowd than the night before.
and we rip it so hard - that we are ready for the reggae club
no such luck. jive and i head back to braid him up before he heads back to NYC
and i pack for dallas
i fell asleep on the plane before it even took off
tired as hell
can't feel my ankle so well
this life is serious
i finally make it to dallas
my phone has been on the blitz since seattle
now -- it can't hold a phone call for more than 5 minutes
if im lucky enough to get the call
mr guinn hits me to let me know he is 20 minutes away
i'm like -- whatever. sleep still crowds my space
but i trek over to the baggage claim
damn near dragging my bag of product - which has yet to lighten enough for me to walk
i make it to grab one piece of luggage, just to find out they lost the other
it's a box full of my books, sent from the publisher
it's a slight glitch in my matrix as i have a show in less than 5 hours
and only about 30 books.
i'm over it already
make my claim, head to meet mr guinn and meet the texas sun
ick. its so hot i forgot my damn name!
i try to buy a pair of slip ons for the benefit of rocking on stage
without the ankle brace, as in that beautifully lost bag -- is my new pair
of black leather slip on sandals. that doesn't work out... whateva
decide on eating and just sleepin' until the show
mr. guinn takes me to the motel 6
it is one of the wackest rooms i've ever seen:
-- the bathroom smells like old mop water
-- the bedspread has cigaretter burns all through it
-- the remote is missing
-- and the damn HBO channel is NOT working
i don't have the strength to call mr. guinn back and tell him the deal
so i lay - with my scarf and jacket under me
and sleep until 7
waking up to espn's poker tournament - my new fav -
i "wash" up get dressed and wait for my ride
a fellow Buckie (she taught me that ya'll) as she loves starbucks too!
we make it to 5th Ave and it's so beautiful
the two men running it are young brothers
with incredbible hospitality and the room is packed
after an extended open mic
i sit on the chair and try to evoke something
from my still fatigued body
it works. the crowd is electric with laughter
and i walk away with another standing ovation
afterwards, we head to downtown dallas
to catch the regional slam for Texas
just in time to say goodbye, i get to hug:
marcell murphy - houston, joaquin - dallas, rock baby - dallas, aj of ft worth, janene of ft worth and camisole is in the house! nice. stefan is also there, he is my ride and host for the next city
before long we are heading back to my rank motel where mr. guinn refuses to settle for just anything. he rushes to the front desk and explains to them with such conviction - i got shivers.
he argued "sir, do you know who this is? how can we as Texans offer anything below standard to such greatness?"
ok maybe not all dat - but he got me another room! lol and it was clean. and had a remote. and i watched my girl LADY LUCK aka ANNIE DUKE win 2 million dolla's while whopping those men'ses ass on the poker table
way to end an incredible evening
my lost luggage arrived in my sleep. yea! then stefan, gwynne and emily (corpus christi slam team) scoop me by noon and we are off on our 6 hour journey to CC. it takes us almost 7 and a half hours, as we took the scenic route. filled with the most beautiful lakes i've ever seen - i let my body fall in and out of consciousness as stefan plays his jazz collection. we eat dairy queen burgers - which are like BANGING with a blizzard ice cream and later - some junk food to finish the trip. i take pictures (like a tourist) of an alien spaceship burger stand -- will surely post later -- and before long we drive into the surprisingly big beach city of CC. we make it to the venue @ 730pm. the sign up list started at 7pm, so we are just in time. i open the set (odd) and hope the starbucks that stefan treated me to won't wear off. it feels like the most draining experience ever - next to childbirth, but not as painful. but its so fufilling. the audience is beautiful. and very energetic. after the slam, which i am a judge -- nice!, i follow with a closing set and soon sell out of books. during the course of the evening Tammi (fellow mother and teacher) and i giggle like girls as we sit and listen to Chuck, a slammer, read his Tweeter piece. it goes: my girl has a tweeter and i really love to eat her. i give him a 9.5 outta respect! lol
we retire after stefan has won (with a jazz poem, dedicated to me, which turns to some ice cream/sex/freak poem YOWSER!) and head back to his crib. tammi offers to bring breakfast and wine and i lean against the window watching the houses and stars blend again.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Jive and Fish Vargas (both bloggers) are on their way to meet me. i cam a day early so that i could do a workshop with my favorite Catherine Thornhill. the theme was changing the perception that people have of you into the perception that you have of yourself. very emotional. and guess what -- i did my fist painting! lol
j knows, i bought paints and a canvas almost 2 years ago -- but i was so afraid that i would mess it up that i refused to paint anything. and now, i think i am ready! so i will create my first painting and post it. but remember -- i am a writer for a reason, dammit! :)
so we went to a spot called brussards last nite -- which was wierd. lol seriously, i think being up since 6am that morning and trying to work off of coffee alone was a bad idea. but we had to promote for the festival, so sometimes you just gotta shake it off - nahmeen?
i was lucky though - i got to see my sis Basheba Earth (emcee, fashion designer, mother -- www.urbanearth.net ) and as usually she knows exactly what i'm going thru. she is my couture designer for when i tour -- so when i jump on stage i am always rocking something original! :) we sat and just absorbed each other while the babies ate vegatarian dinner and her man Drew, supportive as hell, maintained the peace. she is the most calming woman ever -- i can't wait to get her back up to NYC (where she cultivated her artistry) for an exclusive gig.
anyway. that's enough gushing. im headed to an interview at denver's radio station. i promise ya'll this is so healthy! this feelin' of light and love and positive energy. after my argument with amari's father (which i try to steer clear of) -- i need it. and i though about writing about it right here. but the negativity is so wack -- i'm thinking what for? ya know?
loving you with smiles and stanzas
(cali-bklyn girl somewhere in aurora, colorado)
2 -- eat the hottest, spicest and most tastiest homemade chicken enchiladas (from scratch) courtesy of seattle's slammaster better half (this burning tongue is thanks to you init!)
3 -- listen to Christa Bell sing all of Stevie Wonder's songs -- yup. every last one of them!
4 -- talk to daemond about the intake of milk (about half a gallon a day -- WHOA!)
5 -- fall in love with the most comfortable bean bag
6 -- watch the seattle slam team gush over the cherry, chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies (again, init with the save ya'll!)
7 -- realize daemond is right. trader joe's peanut butter cups are SO much better than Reese's
8 -- walk into the Seattle Airport and greet the 200 hundred people waiting in the same airline ticket counter as you
9 -- talk to Christa on the phone once she realizes you are really gone! and she can't tell you the following phrases without the same impact: "Im a writer I need space. Go get a life/ Give me my keys back!/ Walk up and down these hills on a broke ankle/ We can watch Princess Bride -- or Vanity Fair. Everything else sucks/ I am so humble"
10 -- figure out 10 more things to do so you can go back and be so inspired in Seattle
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
and i, mahogany l. browne, tried to rock a hole in that stage - ya heard?!
it was ssoooooooo fun!
they were full of energy (and liquor) which made my set electric! lol
afterwards i got nothing but love and book sales to prove it. i received the most
beautiful compliments that i had to pinch myself to assure it was i
that wasn't dreaming! even the offer to suck my toes (awkward) made me gasp
before i offered my cd to take home with them instead... lol
poetry has these phenomenal nights that just make you realize there is NOTHING
more profound or important than making someone's skin goosebump in anticipation for the truth. it's nights like last night that keep poets scrounging for the next fix -- the next hit.
it's addictive! and the poetry from the slammers were breathtaking! christa killed it and the young man that came in second (rylie (sp)) was damn near perfection! matthew ripped and roberto came with the most intense perspective of love -beginner's love - through a young man's eyes.
afterwards, the slam team took me to eat the best appetizers ever! we shared plates of beef ribs, hot wings, salmon quesidillas, chicken strips and fries. i even got to ride on back of the butch scooter (will show you a pix of that experience soon! LOL). overall -- seattle rocks.
next stop denver
loving this penned life
mahogany (from an incredible view of the pier on Bell & 1st in Belltown @ Christa Bell's house)
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
in a minute
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
dimples blow my knees to
ready for the world to clean me up
lick my wounds soldier
tell me i taste like forever
on a sunday with nothing but
here on your lips
tell me the barking dogs
are just a signal to the gods that we've made it
hold my laughter in your palms
fistfuls of my happiness
promise you won't let go
the golden arch of my bend won't let up
if you tell me
you are home
deployed the idea of separate households
let's nomad this soil
and i pack my bags
trust is sitting next to the panties
that you picked out just for me
and i am sitting on the wish
only praying for your happiness in return
seattle bound (8am tomorrow morning)
in a minute...
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
with the day being as beautiful as it is outside - i dont know how i feel. but i feel something.
my family is kinda draining. i think my biggest problem is not focusing on shyt while it happens
and then dealing with all of it at once. it can be a bit overwhelming. i leave on sat so i am just trying to hold it together. taking pictures of everyone and everything - will post them on the site once i get back to bklyn.
ahhh bklyn. i miss it. i think if i could pack up certain things about bklyn i would. tuck it in my backpack and have a piece of it on me always.
i love love. i do. ive been thinking alot about it. meeting people who cant find it -- havent been able to feel it under their skin in years. i feel for them. its such a void - that feeling. knowing you have so much in you to give and no one worthy to give it to. but id rather wait to love the right one than love someone who wont know what to do with it once they got it.
la vida loca
this crazy life of mine. things are well. ready to hit the stages even with the swollen ankle. ready to let go of a couple of these pounds too! lol ready for something else. i was talkin to my girl bea, who is starting her workshops for overweight teens. she asked me what i wanted in life -- was this what i really wanted. and it is. everything about it hurts and helps me at the same time. once i can focus on what i need -- i take all the precautions to make it materialize. hell, i even go out of my way to do things that may seem extra, but i feel, it helps me understand my position even more.
still trying. not ready. my heart just ain't ready. my formula for getting over ish - still working on it... any suggestions? lol
cali girl dreaming of bklyn boy...still
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Monday, July 11, 2005
i didnt realize i had such a LOUD family... that is until i start talking loudly in the kitchen and everyone looks as if its normal. lol we are so not normal. but they are mine.
had so much fun in san diego with my sis. i didnt even wanna leave. but now that im here -- it cool. its kinda hot. and nikki's baby (my fourteen year old cousin) trey, is adorable. i held him until he went to sleep - then i went to sleep - then i woke up in a sweat, cause you know babies sweat they butt of sleeping! lol he's six months and already i can see the world being terribly hard for him. he's blessed though, my grandmother - his great-grandmother and his grandmother (my uncle's ex-wife) have him under their wings. i just hope the world is a bit brighter when he can distinguish the colors from one another.
in a minute...
Sunday, July 10, 2005
but i just nodded my appreciation and fell into the groove of steppin' in the name of love (line dance style) the cha cha slide and of course all the old school dances: smurf, pacman, guess - or as drakari (erika's friend) says "the southside!?", walking the dog, the whop and soooooo much more.
i dont think i went to sleep til 6am the next morning. and then we got up just to have a triathlete competition! erika, dk and i competed in: bowling, monopoly, pac man, spades, dominoes and miniature golf. i took amari go kart riding afterwards and it's just been a blast. i'm headed to oakland for the rest of the week before seattle's Musica festival (i'm opening for salt of salt n pepa!) and Christa's exclusive Mahogany L. Browne Showcase @ The Black Girls Ball!
haven't had a chance to really sit down and think about the next step -- as you know j and i try to stay on top of the world, creatively. i think i have an incredible idea though... i will get at ya in a minute!
cali girl dreaming of bklyn boy
Friday, July 08, 2005
the show is coming along well. dj equipment issues aside - we have our ticket sales at an all time high and we are so loving the cast! already have our next lineup in the works! can you say hell to the naw? (too much "being bobby brown" reality show!)
if it ain't in the world -- its in my house! my fam can be bonkers. i swear! im like -- look at the news, people are dying! and you here trippin? i don't have the patience. so i'm out. going bowling with the kids. yup - broken ass ankle cast and all! "don't knock the hustle fa real, yo!" (jay-z)
Thursday, July 07, 2005
my incredible writers class after the workshop performance (to right) hallie (dope), kerry ann (crazy), barbara (ct's finest), ed (the dancing machine!), roger (the newly shaved mohawk), camara (my jamaican systa), erika (takin ova chicago) & mya (the spirited)... Poet's House, NYC 2005
sent out emails like crazy... thank goodness nii, marie, tuggstar & benny are ok... waiting to hear back from sammy & leo, eska, agnes, elayne, ebele, afro gee & shortman...
i know what its like to look in the sky and smell humans -- lingering dust clouds and spirits tangle in the wind.
makes you really wonder -- if this is their response -- what in the world are they reacting to?
...my prayers are with the wounded, the deceased and those that love them... my prayers are also with those souls walking amongst the ashes -- striving to live like none of this scares the shyt out of them.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
das right. jive and i have taken it ova... next stop - ya hood! lol
check out the new site! we only have 17 tickets left of the 120 seater
if you are asking yourself why you should check - don't! just check it out!
see the Slam Royalty that are blessing the mic! nevamind the biters, or the haters
it's a ploy! don't let 'em play you! if you were wondering how you could buy your ticket any sooner -- here's ya chance!
so what are you waiting on?
come thru! if you are coming from out of town -- let me know. i will hook u up with the hotel deals!
live from cali thinking of brooklyn!
how to break a man's heart
add scent of sex
illusion of trust
illusion of love
illusion of respect
when he checks for his heart
she will be out the door
how to mend a broken heart
trash her picture
ignore her emails
stop waiting for her call
when she begs for forgiveness
give it to her -- through silence
don't sacrifice yourself
as a gift
she's no room for love, yet
breath a song
create a masterpiece
one for your future wife
and one for your future daughter
tell her how to love men properly
-- but first tell her how to love herself
this is important
ignore her instant messages
its a trap
its a trap
its a trap
remember the hurt
remember the pain
remember her smile - it warned you then
lips painted red for blood
offer her your blessings through whispers
against corners towards the moon
hope the light finds her
guides her through the darkness
certain it wont be your palms
pushing her towards the sun
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
my flight got in late, so i missed meshell ndegecello, talib kweli, kanye west -- but made it for destiny's child. made it fun! dammit but i had the same flight as Kid Capri, Rod Styler (comedian) and the promoter of one of the biggest parties (featuring: H-Town, Melyssa Ford & D'Angelo) Big Shug.
was starving, as i waited to get to new orleans forever, then by the time we started getting dressed (think 4 women in a hotel room with a bag for clothes and a bag for shoes -- scary!) we headed out. after the hotel my sis wanted to party at club utopia, her new bourbon street find. i was tired -- but went anyway, until we got split up in the most busy street of America. i totally forgot about my passes to the Capri party, so i went back to the hotel, gladly, and crashed!
next morning. dressed and walked myself down two blocks to order food (finally) and chill at the bar while they made my catfish po boy to go. damien (the bartender) was on point with my double order of COFFEE! lol took it back to the room in time to see my sistren waking up. we head to MOTHER's a local southern food haven but the line is about 2 new york blocks long... i'm not hungry - so i laugh and sit back as we make a beehive to IHOP. the food is nasty - but the service is hospitable. go figure.
we head to the essence expo and pick up a couple of books, i cop carl hancock rux new joint "asphalt" -- haven't read it yet, as i am revisiting (kenji's first one) dark. after he mailed it to me -- i decided to give it a good read while on tour -- when i have nothing else to do. so it has my full attention. ps - its crazy good!
ok. so after that -- we finally get back. take a disco nap. we wake at 11pm, start the getting dressed process and head to Utopia again! don't ask me why! but -- it's crunk! we dance like we're 18. me and the cast act a damn fool -- until some dude named Craig tries a simulated sex act with me - then i have to push homie to the side and rest my ankle. i hold onto the dacing cage (yes there was one of those) until a systa and a young man rock it so hard that i look back and catch myself watching the first sex in a cage act eva! i walk to the stage to distance myself. whoa
we get bottles of water - cause as soon as you step in the heat and humidity washes over you -- feeling like a wet tongue from an unwanted kiss... just too uncomfortable! i sit on stage while my sis' acts a damn fool. i've realised, she's too old for most of the dances -- i mean, her body ain't bendy like it used to be - and she realises it after 3 hours, she catches a charley horse! lol we finally head back around 4am. take showers and talk until 6 before leave to beat the rush @ that spot MOTHER's. the food is so good - i repent all my sins!
our last day there, i get a massage, take a swim in the heated pool and buy souvenirs. it's a great way to end a vacation. headed back to cali 6 in the morning -- where i will visit fam, check on my lil' one and possibly write some more stuff!
i will be back on the touring schedule starting next week, so im going to get a manicure and another massage to help the stiffness in my ankle.
live from cali