battlescars

i looked at my reflection this morning. and it looked back at me. this is the moment when i remind myself that i am doing it right. this life. these choices. all a part of a bigger picture, a bigger plan. i remind myself to love myself irregardless to the pain that comes with the crucification of being too honest, to truthful, unwielding. if it is worth it, there will always be pain. i recognize the alcohol-sting and burn of my actions. hold them like scars of war. the keloid that will tell the story of how i went to battle and walked away with my integrity, pride and soul, intact. it will be a beautiful bedtime story for my daughter's children. and she will give the greatest pauses for effect as she remembers the nights her mother braved the storm and returned home to brooklyn. limping with a face still dry - eyes threatnening a pour of all the day's letdowns. before she laid in bed next to her only child, and smiled at the beautiful complexity of a 10 year-old's unwavering love. and hugged her tight, as if her ribcage didn't hurt and her heart wasn't broken