.5

when i think of you,
it is always some kind of beautiful
black velvet painting of a man
forgive my worries and unreadiness to bend my heart
into rings for you

there are times we must spend alone thinking of ourselves
and be welcome with the selfish nature
that spins our dreams into coal and diamond dust -- but never quite as shiny
as it seemed in our visions

you looked at me with wonderment, that day
as if my bones were filled with candies, my insides melting caramel
syrup - where u licked me like your fingers, like it was yours
to do just that

this is where it gets tricky.
the understanding of ones pleasure, with pain in tow
blame it on the rain, and a need for a real orgasm.

no one knew you were afraid of falling,
not even my karma was ready for the bounce
and roll and burn of your eyelids
closing on a love that had no idea, i broke you so bad
there was no glue for cleaning your untidy fractures.

blame me,
the brown girl with a hate for man so cold
i'd swallow you from your insides first and smile upon
your echoes descent.
who knew i'd grow back my compassionate wings
my gavel still mid-air waiting for another you to come by.
like the buses, all women have been promised

as if mass transit was an equivilant to the crack of a human spirit
so undistinguishable it grunts oil and smoke.
mythical creatures, we never knew had a reflection so
similar to this smile
forgive me, torn soldier
i can only teach my daughter how to look closely before
crossing
next time.