shoesize

i've loved you like brown babies love sun
longer than you've known what to do with it
my throat itches with instructions:
open your arms and hug me back
but
you have a way of staring my kind into silence
shut mouthed, i hum songs that only i know,
would rather you guess what i'm singing than tell
all the to my secrets soul, again

at midnight,
i press flesh to face and whisper my chromosomes into imitation
learn the rapture of silence
practice the gutted shell of brooklyn brownstones, still
solemn in their windowless doors and bare hinges

this is when the eyelids lie rusty in your wake

learn my temples to tense, in spite of myself
conjure a myriad of bloody tragedies
death tolls in Gaza, Iraq, my heart
spins a web of heavy promises to forgive a manhood
like yours, for leaving me bare

maybe, i have a problem with men...

how many more tiring tyrants should i allow into my skin
before washing dirty my spirit; lay flat for shrinking
self-esteem is imminent,

this is the siren for the misguided
find a home in me for i've always had a thing for the unloved

who else will practice french kissing broken mirrors
for a taste of manly reserve, i want to learn your shape
let it grow on me like leather,
the way a lover's fingers trace the hair on skin and suckle
the shadows for an idea,

allow this moment as your safe space. know i could never
hurt your dreams or hinder your strides
we are of angel breath and gods wings
zulu strength and slave's resistance

in our pain is the shape of the most beautiful things
shifting images of life, bless me with your resilence,
teach me to scare away the tears
forgive the world for striking us with fear
of our awesomeness,
watch the stars watch us back and blink in disbelief.