j is right about this one.
with the day being as beautiful as it is outside - i dont know how i feel. but i feel something.
my family is kinda draining. i think my biggest problem is not focusing on shyt while it happens
and then dealing with all of it at once. it can be a bit overwhelming. i leave on sat so i am just trying to hold it together. taking pictures of everyone and everything - will post them on the site once i get back to bklyn.
ahhh bklyn. i miss it. i think if i could pack up certain things about bklyn i would. tuck it in my backpack and have a piece of it on me always.
love
i love love. i do. ive been thinking alot about it. meeting people who cant find it -- havent been able to feel it under their skin in years. i feel for them. its such a void - that feeling. knowing you have so much in you to give and no one worthy to give it to. but id rather wait to love the right one than love someone who wont know what to do with it once they got it.
la vida loca
this crazy life of mine. things are well. ready to hit the stages even with the swollen ankle. ready to let go of a couple of these pounds too! lol ready for something else. i was talkin to my girl bea, who is starting her workshops for overweight teens. she asked me what i wanted in life -- was this what i really wanted. and it is. everything about it hurts and helps me at the same time. once i can focus on what i need -- i take all the precautions to make it materialize. hell, i even go out of my way to do things that may seem extra, but i feel, it helps me understand my position even more.
forgiveness
still trying. not ready. my heart just ain't ready. my formula for getting over ish - still working on it... any suggestions? lol
cali girl dreaming of bklyn boy...still
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2 comments:
i got stuck on the first line and trapped in the middle, you was like killing me softly with your words in a deep down sort of way let me begin by saying my man name J - no relation to your equation - Is often right too. Seeing as how it hasn't been but a few days since I blew up on my mother and oh brother was that a mess I confess after twenty five years of heart burn I was ready to let family learn what Ms. Stress has known all along feelin' like a cage bird who didn't belong, stuck with a case of terminal wrong - I got pissed, shit wrists heels and tears was every where that my mind was temporarily clear till I got stuck needing to stare at your words like blurbs of days not so far gone perhaps my outburst wasn't so wrong but simply in the air at that point i didn't care what i let blood see since blood was boiling in me didn't have much to loose so i now currently abuse your ear with my mindless mind chatter hoping to flatter the illusion of a kindred spirit
I hate when J is write ... right.
sorry for the delayed response. but i can dig it! please, keep checking in and hitting me up! stay strong ma!
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