the moments of our making

i probably watch too much tv
but when i don't
i allow people to tell me things

and i dont know if its the journalist in me
or the mother
or both

but i am pretty easy to confide in, i think...
i don't run around gossiping (that's ssooooo 1990)
and i'm pretty honest, to the point of abrasive
brutality... but it is what it is.

and we can't lie to ourselves and expect the world
to act like we aren't just walking around naked
fron'tn like the emperor's clothes really fit.

so i've turned to watching tv. atleast i won't have to
wait up all night to find out if she still has her teeth.
or she's not in labor alone. or she had her locks changed
and he's not standing over her and the kids while they
sleep.

maybe i watch too many scary movies? but i'm sure
real life is way more frightening, which is why i can
be honest about my fear. i don't want another woman
i know to be in pain for the sake of his ego stroke.

i mean, really.

when i featured this saturday at a small spot in bklyn.
i was torn. so much going on in that space that i couldn't
even sit in ease. i was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
the energy was off, no matter the friendly-ness of the host
and it was just unsettling, is all. it was there that i was told
in a joking (but probably honest) manner that people thought
i was too hard on men. (verbatim: "mahogany browne is featuring?
ah man, brother's ain't gonna get to love that night!")

and i was stuck for a second. cause if you know me, you know
i love men. hell - i am in love with one! lol and the last thing
i want anyone to assume is that i'm a male basher. so i started
my set by dedicating the evening to sexual harrassment.

i then continued with , i don't hate men. but i love them enough
to tell them the truth. and that's what it all comes down to.

our revolution will never succeed if we don't even know how
to communicate at home. if we can't even love our mates,
spouses and significant others with the same intensity that
we love a favorite food. season. or hobby.

how are we to feel like we can take on the world
if we fall asleep alone or in strife at home?