untitled 1091

its between the light and dark
side of things
hidden in shadows
and prisms of laughter
only cut wrists and the like

swoon me with your smile
if you want to know how pain taste
feel it through
each silent plea
warn my love of your intention

i know thy honor is of fairy tale dimensions

but we are of another time
where moments passed are simply
gas erupted into space
never repeating the posture of lightening
only threatening to return when we least expect it

worry me a reason
grab my attention with the idea
wish me a promise that this stands ...still
though i know you've readied for our demise
as i washed in the milk of redemption
soaked away the grit of a lost love

rinse
repeat
and pray

...still
no one has ever rest in my bones
like you

so scrape away my marrow
find room in my warm spaces
feel the blood that runs
thru this heart
that beats like you -- steady and ever questioning

but don't leave before
the sun breaths a ray
shallows the darkened path
with light
bright
and loud
colors colliding
unrehearsed
like
children

...mo spaces...

you can never be of this world
your heart beats too big for this
galaxy and the next

woke up late. 'round 1245pm. he's still sleep. teasing me to taste the slumber for just a bit longer. had to check on the nps ish... that woke my ass up. real quick. if u wanna know about that -- you gotta check the other blog. word... think i will head back to sleep - before i go to my phys therapy appointment. we will talk again soon.

pinky swear

...spaces...

i was crazy inspired this past week -- regardless of the bullshit that tainted our team's advancement and unity. (how ironic)... however, the expierience was of once in a lifetime. every poet should get to hang out with over 300 poets, toured around the city like the rockstars that we are! and the ego's are so there -- just like high school. but the bigger picture hosts a kalediscope of incredible thinkers and performers and writers. and if we had not experience the bad how would we know how good it can be.

happy to be back in nyc

the rain is kinda welcoming -- cause the heat in this apartment can be too draining. but i am home. for now

a quickie!

tues:
we get here in new mexico
our travels were pretty eventless - lucky us
almost everyone outside of our flight was delayed
courtesy of thunderstorms, etc
chilling - practicing - greeting friendly poets
like i aint seen em in years...

wed:
the poets are in full bloom
love out to: CHRISTA BELL (who i SOOOOOO hate right now, cause she is bothering the SHYT outta me),
corrina bain, sonya renee, queen sheba, big mike, andrew tyree, brady, ovi, jive, roger, tai, dammit -- i've lost count by now: will, ZORK, JARED, KA, janean, mr guinn, vocab, rac, rockbaby, joaquin, twainflow, rob, shihan... no more just yet. but understand we have 75 teams (including france) rep'n this year... our bout against miami & st. louis & noraz & corpus christi... we pull first DAMN. but the last round i pull out single muva song... we walk away with a win. NICE

thurs:
all this free continental breakfast can wear on ya...still coming off the win high. was told i had the highest score of our bout. then i see the scores that the person at the bout told me were off... by a point. so i am the second highest of the bout. but we still got our 1. no worries... gotta go practice and get ready for the african american showcase... in a minute

and we're off...

new mexico hold on to ya britches! a town full of poets (almost 1000 haiku-writing, coffee-drinking, chain-smoking, shyt talking literary genuises!)

i'm taking jive to his lift off now. it's 4:20am and his flight leaves soon.

my flight doesn't leave til 9am... but i have to be there by 7am...

just finished packing. tooth is aching -- but i am already to be done with this

i wish everyone luck!

success!

it was sooo dope!
im tired cause i went to the bklyn
picnic again. it's every sunday.
just music and food and beautiful people
performing
capoeria
and talking...

went to practice -- no one was there -- so i came home.

check out the jam on it blog for the details of the show.

im tired still... but heavenly... word

tag - i'm it -- dammit 13!

cause i can never pass these damn things up...

Five songs I'll always love:
vision of love
knocking the boots
as we lay
anything by sade
i will die for you

what was I doing ....

10 years ago:
trying to graduate from high school and driving my grandmother crazy!

5 years ago:
moving to new york, driving my grandmother crazy, raising an incredible lil girl alone.

1 year ago:
missing my grandmother. raising said maniacal child, living in new york and being in love.

Yesterday:
working on projects: writing and producing.

Today:
resting for said projects. checking on incredible child who is now driving my grandmother crazy.

Tomorrow:
producing a helluva show -- and dreaming about the next big project. praying for grandmother and lil girl in between.

5 snacks I enjoy:
sunflower seeds (dont hate!)
m&m peanuts
jelly belly jelly beans
mr goodbar
cap n crunch cereal

5 bands i like:
roots
maze
damn... i don't know if rappers count as bands?



5 things I would do with $100,000,000:
buy a house
pay for amari's college tuition
pay for my grandmother's vacation
pay for my neice and nephew's tuition
start my non-profit for young women

5 locations to run away to:
paris
bklyn
jamaica
oakland
canada

5 things I wish I could wear:
french lingerie
stilettos (freekn broken ankle)
anything from my senior year of high school
cleats to bed
a fireman's uniform

5 Movies:
color purple
usual suspects
napoleon dynamite
blade I, II & III -- oops, i think i went over huh!?

5 biggest joys at the moment:
birth of my daughter
birth of my first album
birth of my first book
my first published piece of journalistic work
my first standing ovation

5 toys:
spongebob anything
my laptop (and everything that comes with it)
pacman plug-in
and my ahem, adult toys... lol

i tag: jive, matthew & christa

almost there...

so we are working our ASTERISKS off.
ready for the show.
gonna be gangsta!
taalam, roger, celena and sonya renee!

cya there?!

358 W. 44th Street (8th Ave)

and if you missed this one... you really missed it. but no worries. next one is SEPT 10th. get ya tickets now!

POETRY ROCKSTARS! featuring:

flowmentalz (HBO)
big mike (southern fried 2nd place & Nuyorican Team 2005)
ainsley burrows (internationally known)
and a special guest! stay tuned to see who!

tell ya bout the show tomorrow nite -- maybe sunday...!

m

things to do list

get hair braided

get a pedicure

email webmaster

check email

mail bills

go to Nextel Repair (again)

finish compiling the poems for ...something beautiful recording

turn off the TV

buy some pillows for the Aug 6th show. we have officially OVER SOLD the theatre. (i.e., some people goin' sit on the floor with them damn pillows!)

get ready for my meeting with the lawyer

email my editors for extension :( i soo suck.

say sorry. if i have ever hurt you, i apologize.

ding dong!

ok

last nite -- was fukn amazing! if you need a lil' ghetto fabulous to remind you that you rock stages -- go to Taste Lounge. they brought me in moved two young unsuspecting men from a table and seated me and jive's sis. i brought her with me cause i thought the new college grad would want to party. she is an incredible writer (it runs in the family) and she did her thizzle on the mic. also my girl jocelyn from bad boy was in the house -- she surprised me. it's been a minute since we got to hang so it was great to see her. once i got on stage, i found myself threatening the loud patrons at one point (i.e., i'm real sensitive. if you make me feel bad about my performance i will have to throw a chair at you! lol or telling all the ladies that we will have a cagney and lacey support group afterwards. meet in the parking lot with black turtlenecks and bricks for child support enforcement!) its fun -- hype as hell, the dj is on point. that's all i have to say about that!

went to the doctor today. looks like i have an extra operation to intervene with this toe curling... which sucks ass! no matter. i still rocks the brand new pumas and stroll like i got a purpose. CAUSE I DO!


went to the shop for our show after the doctor's appointment. i wanted to go home, but J gave me a list and i had to pull my part of the load. so while im gathering the accrutrements (sp) i run into a sista that looks at my shirt and says I love that! (its says i love black people). we get to talkin and she's like -- are you from buffalo? or atlanta? and im looking at her like -- i know her. then it clicks! we met in atlanta at the apache over a year ago. she bought the cd and went to college with jive! so im like -- hey, what are you doing here? turns out -- she's getting her grad study on at NYU. invited her to the show, cause we got crazy emotional, just catching up (in the middle of the peanut butter, jelly and cereal aisle!). but i invited her to the show. gave her my last comp, as she just moved to brooklyn two days ago! how bout that?! she said brooklyn was calling her. and this morning she felt like she was finally home. i said, that's the pull it has on people. especially creative ass hustla's! we thrive on the planet of brooklyn!


as far as the boot camp... thanks for the IM beatrice. good to know ya'll watching out for me! but i'm almost finished...damn near. but my brooklyn apartment is too small and too full of books and heat! it's just too hot to think. so i am going to the movies! i will wait in the starbucks nearby until showtime (with the lovely air conditioner) and finish what i have left.

ps -- thanks for the call KIM, we will catch up at nationals! new mexico, look out. it's on and poppin! lol :o

pps -- ding dong the witch is dead.

midnight oil

worked til 2 this morning
back on the grind

finished two of the 4 bullets

let's see what kinda rabbit i can pull
out of this hat in the last 14 hours!

...exasperation

still no time, however a huge pain of a toothache is trip hop'n the entire side of my right face!

yea for me

writer's boot camp

got 3 group pieces that need editing

1 poem that needs to be memorized

4 articles due last week

and not enough: energy, filanges or time to finish them.

hulk hogan, poetry and all things holy

the mighty mighty hulk hogan
ok. so i admit it. im watching hulk's reality show -- he is kinda bitch-like! he sets up his son to get in an argument with the son's 15 year old girlfriend, all because he wants more attention... can u say HUH?

poetry
we talked about it all nite. it's a bit disheartening to see the process. but that's how it goes. i know for a fact you have to fall out of like with it to fall deeper in love with it. we'll just hope nationals saves the day with this one. that and our show: JAM ON IT -- next saturday AUG 6th. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. SOLD OUT. uhh - did i say this show was sold out? niiiice!

team slam
we have a going away party for central nj slam team. it's at our slammaster's house. and all i can say is where's the bbq SON?! will tell you how it all pans out in 2 and 2!

mahogany l. browne and the ladies of neo souldiers: Know13 @ Shelle.

there is bryan and aubrey the beautiful. i will be honest. bryan (miraculously) won the bowling tournament this nite. but neva again i say! nevaaaa again!

this is the view from my suite in austin's renassiance hotel. only trees like this in NY are in Central Park!

christi and matthew took me to the top of the city... seattle's finest

this is the road i walked up during my stay in seattle. yes. that's with the jacked up ankle... :(

this is the spaceship that we say in ITALY, TX -- don't ask me about the lil' green people in the front of it.

chheeeeeez sucka!

those are my pretty cousins: desi and tasha.

this is the beach in corpus christi, tx. this is where i found myself actually breathing for the first time -- in a long itme.

so here is where i crashed when in seattle. this is christa's thinking wall... can you say WHOA?

austin: substance abuse conference -- they were are. the revised sea salt & cayenne peppa! w/spin cycle as the dj!

nobody does it like AUSTIN!

so now im in austin. in my plush ass hotel room. acting bougie like a mutha -- peering at the ants below me. lol

last we talked i was in corpus christi. it was here that drove on the beach (yes DROVE) for almost 2 miles. i learned to fly a kite, stepped in the Texas gulf and prayed. it was so beautiful. will show the pics - i promise.

afterwards, i went to san antonio -- they have the closest thing to a Texan Nuyorican ever. the spot is known as house of the hecklers to natives, but as Puro Slam to us other folk. cats had me shook to even rock there. i was warned they will yell at you during your slam. talk over you. make you cry and invite you out to fight afterwards.

none of this happened...not to me anyway. it was fly as hell! beautiful people. vocab picked me up from the bus station and jo, kim and bryan met me at the spot to escort me back to austin. very flyy indeed.

next day was the conference. since i didnt get into kim's crib until 3 something (cause homegirl lives in HUTTO - i say it like puttwo with an H?) got up fresh and early like 8 and headed to the conference. i asked for specific poets to accompany me in the substance abuse conference presentation. and i must say - we ripped dat bytch apart! people were sneaking into the conference room, as they were told we were too full and they weren't allowed to sign up. puhleez!

you know me, you know i don't give a damn. so we had chairs on the makeshift stage, people sitting on the stairs and it was gorgeous! there were so supportive and happy to be there and alive, that i felt like giving them my product for free. but i didnt cmon, now?! lol

after that 3 hour session we got some grub at the cheesecake factory, then had to get in the obligatory nap. i hit ego's that night as a special guest. this is where i witnessed my first MOONING ON STAGE (courtesy of Big Poppa E's bright ass). whoa///

right after i rocked on stage, i had to young blond haired southern college frat boys come up to me and thank me til my hand went numb. i was more surprised at the color line poetry crossed - and that's some powerful shyt to swallow.

left for neo souldier's new spot Antonio's which was on fire as soon as i stepped in the door. booked for double features is hard and here i was -- rocking 4 different sets in the same day. with the limp! holla lmao - but it was so worth it. my people's kevin (who dates ms. bell's lil sista small ass world!) was in the spot - we rocked together twice in LA so it was good to see him traveling and prosperous. this white boy got more soul than a little. trust dat! and i get to hobble on stage for the last time in Austin. so i think i just poured it out on stage like water. i left hobbling after 3 poems with a standing ovation.

i love austin... it's like a warm sweatshirt that never fades and is always fitted, comfortable and in style. and i'm so very lucky that austin loves me back! i get to go bowling tonite ya'll! wish me and the ankle luck. then i'm headed back to nyc to recouperate and get ready for the nationals in new mexico (aug 9 - 14)!

love ya like cooked food -- dat's right: collard greens, sweet cornbread, candied yams and mac n cheese.

denver to dallas & back down...to corpus christi

it's been a long time - i shouldn't have left you -- without a funky blog to step to! give it up for RAKIM! even when im trying to be corny with a side of cool - his lyrics bring me thru. :)
whassup web fam. i feel like it's been a minute. my bad. just didn't have internet access during the weekend. let me 'xplain

sat:
after we checked into the embassy suites (crazy beautiful, crazy expensive)
after jive and fish walked through the doors and my world is so much better
after i realized how much i missed j walking in all shaved and beautiful...
after we head to the theatre just in time to rock an impromptu "dress rehearsal"
after we grab a bucket of hot wings (about 50) and movies from blockbuster
after breakfast (for free) i'm talking freshly made mushroom and cheese omelette
with a crazy buffet - that i just couldn't eat (unlike fish and jive)
after we have a poetry workshop - with a turnout of a WHOPPING 8 (love to the seattle slam team & who's this?)
after all dat -- we head to the theatre for our show
about 10 minutes late
why: because fish is starving -- so chipotle for everyone!
it's this mexican grill that is the truth, yo!
fish gets pork, chicken and steak something or other
jive gets some steak and chicken joint
i rock a chicken burrito - jessica eats something while driving
(crazily) to the theatre - now 25 minutes late
we sit and listen to a funky ass band call VEGAS WITCHCRAFT
niiiice

my girl, catherine from the spot, is there and the show
is a blast
i get a standing ovation
and leave the stage - prepared for jive to trump me
it's our ritual. we feed off each other's energy

there is a much better crowd than the night before.
and we rip it so hard - that we are ready for the reggae club
no such luck. jive and i head back to braid him up before he heads back to NYC
and i pack for dallas

sun:
i fell asleep on the plane before it even took off
tired as hell
can't feel my ankle so well
this life is serious
i finally make it to dallas
my phone has been on the blitz since seattle
now -- it can't hold a phone call for more than 5 minutes
if im lucky enough to get the call
mr guinn hits me to let me know he is 20 minutes away
i'm like -- whatever. sleep still crowds my space
but i trek over to the baggage claim
damn near dragging my bag of product - which has yet to lighten enough for me to walk
semi-normal
i make it to grab one piece of luggage, just to find out they lost the other
it's a box full of my books, sent from the publisher
it's a slight glitch in my matrix as i have a show in less than 5 hours
and only about 30 books.
i'm over it already
make my claim, head to meet mr guinn and meet the texas sun

ick. its so hot i forgot my damn name!
i try to buy a pair of slip ons for the benefit of rocking on stage
without the ankle brace, as in that beautifully lost bag -- is my new pair
of black leather slip on sandals. that doesn't work out... whateva

decide on eating and just sleepin' until the show
mr. guinn takes me to the motel 6
it is one of the wackest rooms i've ever seen:
-- the bathroom smells like old mop water
-- the bedspread has cigaretter burns all through it
-- the remote is missing
-- and the damn HBO channel is NOT working
i don't have the strength to call mr. guinn back and tell him the deal
so i lay - with my scarf and jacket under me
and sleep until 7
waking up to espn's poker tournament - my new fav -
i "wash" up get dressed and wait for my ride
a fellow Buckie (she taught me that ya'll) as she loves starbucks too!

we make it to 5th Ave and it's so beautiful
the two men running it are young brothers
with incredbible hospitality and the room is packed
after an extended open mic
i sit on the chair and try to evoke something
from my still fatigued body
it works. the crowd is electric with laughter
and i walk away with another standing ovation

afterwards, we head to downtown dallas
to catch the regional slam for Texas
just in time to say goodbye, i get to hug:
marcell murphy - houston, joaquin - dallas, rock baby - dallas, aj of ft worth, janene of ft worth and camisole is in the house! nice. stefan is also there, he is my ride and host for the next city

before long we are heading back to my rank motel where mr. guinn refuses to settle for just anything. he rushes to the front desk and explains to them with such conviction - i got shivers.
he argued "sir, do you know who this is? how can we as Texans offer anything below standard to such greatness?"

ok maybe not all dat - but he got me another room! lol and it was clean. and had a remote. and i watched my girl LADY LUCK aka ANNIE DUKE win 2 million dolla's while whopping those men'ses ass on the poker table
way to end an incredible evening

mon:
my lost luggage arrived in my sleep. yea! then stefan, gwynne and emily (corpus christi slam team) scoop me by noon and we are off on our 6 hour journey to CC. it takes us almost 7 and a half hours, as we took the scenic route. filled with the most beautiful lakes i've ever seen - i let my body fall in and out of consciousness as stefan plays his jazz collection. we eat dairy queen burgers - which are like BANGING with a blizzard ice cream and later - some junk food to finish the trip. i take pictures (like a tourist) of an alien spaceship burger stand -- will surely post later -- and before long we drive into the surprisingly big beach city of CC. we make it to the venue @ 730pm. the sign up list started at 7pm, so we are just in time. i open the set (odd) and hope the starbucks that stefan treated me to won't wear off. it feels like the most draining experience ever - next to childbirth, but not as painful. but its so fufilling. the audience is beautiful. and very energetic. after the slam, which i am a judge -- nice!, i follow with a closing set and soon sell out of books. during the course of the evening Tammi (fellow mother and teacher) and i giggle like girls as we sit and listen to Chuck, a slammer, read his Tweeter piece. it goes: my girl has a tweeter and i really love to eat her. i give him a 9.5 outta respect! lol
we retire after stefan has won (with a jazz poem, dedicated to me, which turns to some ice cream/sex/freak poem YOWSER!) and head back to his crib. tammi offers to bring breakfast and wine and i lean against the window watching the houses and stars blend again.

here i am!

At the Say Word Poetry & Theatre Festival in Denver, Colorado

Jive and Fish Vargas (both bloggers) are on their way to meet me. i cam a day early so that i could do a workshop with my favorite Catherine Thornhill. the theme was changing the perception that people have of you into the perception that you have of yourself. very emotional. and guess what -- i did my fist painting! lol

j knows, i bought paints and a canvas almost 2 years ago -- but i was so afraid that i would mess it up that i refused to paint anything. and now, i think i am ready! so i will create my first painting and post it. but remember -- i am a writer for a reason, dammit! :)

so we went to a spot called brussards last nite -- which was wierd. lol seriously, i think being up since 6am that morning and trying to work off of coffee alone was a bad idea. but we had to promote for the festival, so sometimes you just gotta shake it off - nahmeen?

i was lucky though - i got to see my sis Basheba Earth (emcee, fashion designer, mother -- www.urbanearth.net ) and as usually she knows exactly what i'm going thru. she is my couture designer for when i tour -- so when i jump on stage i am always rocking something original! :) we sat and just absorbed each other while the babies ate vegatarian dinner and her man Drew, supportive as hell, maintained the peace. she is the most calming woman ever -- i can't wait to get her back up to NYC (where she cultivated her artistry) for an exclusive gig.

anyway. that's enough gushing. im headed to an interview at denver's radio station. i promise ya'll this is so healthy! this feelin' of light and love and positive energy. after my argument with amari's father (which i try to steer clear of) -- i need it. and i though about writing about it right here. but the negativity is so wack -- i'm thinking what for? ya know?

loving you with smiles and stanzas
(cali-bklyn girl somewhere in aurora, colorado)

10 things to do in seattle before you die in Denver

1 -- watch constatine with seattle slam team (it is the absolute BOMB)

2 -- eat the hottest, spicest and most tastiest homemade chicken enchiladas (from scratch) courtesy of seattle's slammaster better half (this burning tongue is thanks to you init!)

3 -- listen to Christa Bell sing all of Stevie Wonder's songs -- yup. every last one of them!

4 -- talk to daemond about the intake of milk (about half a gallon a day -- WHOA!)

5 -- fall in love with the most comfortable bean bag

6 -- watch the seattle slam team gush over the cherry, chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies (again, init with the save ya'll!)

7 -- realize daemond is right. trader joe's peanut butter cups are SO much better than Reese's

8 -- walk into the Seattle Airport and greet the 200 hundred people waiting in the same airline ticket counter as you

9 -- talk to Christa on the phone once she realizes you are really gone! and she can't tell you the following phrases without the same impact: "Im a writer I need space. Go get a life/ Give me my keys back!/ Walk up and down these hills on a broke ankle/ We can watch Princess Bride -- or Vanity Fair. Everything else sucks/ I am so humble"

10 -- figure out 10 more things to do so you can go back and be so inspired in Seattle

seattle rocks!

last nite at the mirabua room over 80 people came to the slam.
and i, mahogany l. browne, tried to rock a hole in that stage - ya heard?!
it was ssoooooooo fun!
they were full of energy (and liquor) which made my set electric! lol
afterwards i got nothing but love and book sales to prove it. i received the most
beautiful compliments that i had to pinch myself to assure it was i
that wasn't dreaming! even the offer to suck my toes (awkward) made me gasp
before i offered my cd to take home with them instead... lol

poetry has these phenomenal nights that just make you realize there is NOTHING
more profound or important than making someone's skin goosebump in anticipation for the truth. it's nights like last night that keep poets scrounging for the next fix -- the next hit.
it's addictive! and the poetry from the slammers were breathtaking! christa killed it and the young man that came in second (rylie (sp)) was damn near perfection! matthew ripped and roberto came with the most intense perspective of love -beginner's love - through a young man's eyes.

afterwards, the slam team took me to eat the best appetizers ever! we shared plates of beef ribs, hot wings, salmon quesidillas, chicken strips and fries. i even got to ride on back of the butch scooter (will show you a pix of that experience soon! LOL). overall -- seattle rocks.

next stop denver

loving this penned life
mahogany (from an incredible view of the pier on Bell & 1st in Belltown @ Christa Bell's house)

nextel sucks

second new phone in less than a year! i hate next nextel

seattle #2

talking to j. went to the bank. beautiful show at seattle center. limo ride back to christa's studio. fell for starbucks all over again. chilled at the beach with piece and akira -- got a suntan. show tonite at wallingford... must rest a bit.

in a minute

seattle

home of starbucks... pure caffeinated heaven

untitled 3091

the way

you look

is deafening

dimples blow my knees to
marbles spilled
rolling outwards
ready for the world to clean me up

lick my wounds soldier
tell me i taste like forever
on a sunday with nothing but
here on your lips

tell me the barking dogs
are just a signal to the gods that we've made it
hold my laughter in your palms
fistfuls of my happiness
promise you won't let go
the golden arch of my bend won't let up
if you tell me
you are home

deployed the idea of separate households
let's nomad this soil
says you
and i pack my bags
willingly
trust is sitting next to the panties
that you picked out just for me
and i am sitting on the wish
only praying for your happiness in return

the death of poetry -- oakland style

went to this spot last nite in east oakland (well not really east, but whatever) and it was like a community based event. which was dope -- but the poetry was lacking... one cat jumped on the mic (in a room filled with kids) and rap'd about bustin' nuts on a bitches face and rubbing it in like lotion. i walked out after that. had catch my breath. then i went on stage about two persons later and ripped Single Mother's Song like my life depended on it! afterwards, homeboy got up and said he did this for his kids. for the little ones -- i'm like fa real?? definitely hoping the pen can take a soul out the street -- but when you ain't trynna take your mind out the street, then what?

seattle bound (8am tomorrow morning)
in a minute...

big things...

my cousin (the fashion designer) is working with one of my best friends on a new line. im excited for them!

my neice is graduating from junior high school

and we are going to the bahamas - just because...

that is all

love is stronger than pride...

j is right about this one.

with the day being as beautiful as it is outside - i dont know how i feel. but i feel something.
my family is kinda draining. i think my biggest problem is not focusing on shyt while it happens
and then dealing with all of it at once. it can be a bit overwhelming. i leave on sat so i am just trying to hold it together. taking pictures of everyone and everything - will post them on the site once i get back to bklyn.

ahhh bklyn. i miss it. i think if i could pack up certain things about bklyn i would. tuck it in my backpack and have a piece of it on me always.

love

i love love. i do. ive been thinking alot about it. meeting people who cant find it -- havent been able to feel it under their skin in years. i feel for them. its such a void - that feeling. knowing you have so much in you to give and no one worthy to give it to. but id rather wait to love the right one than love someone who wont know what to do with it once they got it.

la vida loca

this crazy life of mine. things are well. ready to hit the stages even with the swollen ankle. ready to let go of a couple of these pounds too! lol ready for something else. i was talkin to my girl bea, who is starting her workshops for overweight teens. she asked me what i wanted in life -- was this what i really wanted. and it is. everything about it hurts and helps me at the same time. once i can focus on what i need -- i take all the precautions to make it materialize. hell, i even go out of my way to do things that may seem extra, but i feel, it helps me understand my position even more.

forgiveness

still trying. not ready. my heart just ain't ready. my formula for getting over ish - still working on it... any suggestions? lol


cali girl dreaming of bklyn boy...still

i know...

where it all begins.

where it starts - the process - the cycle.

now how to end this -- is beyond me...


*outlook on life as i know it

oakland

im here. visiting my grandmother... finalizing ish for the summer for amari. and just relaxing.

i didnt realize i had such a LOUD family... that is until i start talking loudly in the kitchen and everyone looks as if its normal. lol we are so not normal. but they are mine.

had so much fun in san diego with my sis. i didnt even wanna leave. but now that im here -- it cool. its kinda hot. and nikki's baby (my fourteen year old cousin) trey, is adorable. i held him until he went to sleep - then i went to sleep - then i woke up in a sweat, cause you know babies sweat they butt of sleeping! lol he's six months and already i can see the world being terribly hard for him. he's blessed though, my grandmother - his great-grandmother and his grandmother (my uncle's ex-wife) have him under their wings. i just hope the world is a bit brighter when he can distinguish the colors from one another.

in a minute...

sat - sunday daze

chilled with my sis this week. it was really good for both of us. she is a great person, and it's funny how you find out how much you like your siblings (after all the fights are done!)... she took me to 94th aero -- a happy hour and club/lounge in san diego. i danced so hard and so long that i got several drink offers (from men and women) on some "u really workin' dat cast ma! you killin' da dance floor -- whatcha drinkin?"

but i just nodded my appreciation and fell into the groove of steppin' in the name of love (line dance style) the cha cha slide and of course all the old school dances: smurf, pacman, guess - or as drakari (erika's friend) says "the southside!?", walking the dog, the whop and soooooo much more.

i dont think i went to sleep til 6am the next morning. and then we got up just to have a triathlete competition! erika, dk and i competed in: bowling, monopoly, pac man, spades, dominoes and miniature golf. i took amari go kart riding afterwards and it's just been a blast. i'm headed to oakland for the rest of the week before seattle's Musica festival (i'm opening for salt of salt n pepa!) and Christa's exclusive Mahogany L. Browne Showcase @ The Black Girls Ball!

haven't had a chance to really sit down and think about the next step -- as you know j and i try to stay on top of the world, creatively. i think i have an incredible idea though... i will get at ya in a minute!

cali girl dreaming of bklyn boy
m

drama

i hope ya'll had fun peep'n my time on tour or at home... i will try to put atleast once a week. just so you can see the characters that i get to meet! i'm blessed. i know this. regardless of the biters and the haters -- they are just my fuel injection. a reminder to keep it moving or the leeches will suck you dry!

the show is coming along well. dj equipment issues aside - we have our ticket sales at an all time high and we are so loving the cast! already have our next lineup in the works! can you say hell to the naw? (too much "being bobby brown" reality show!)

if it ain't in the world -- its in my house! my fam can be bonkers. i swear! im like -- look at the news, people are dying! and you here trippin? i don't have the patience. so i'm out. going bowling with the kids. yup - broken ass ankle cast and all! "don't knock the hustle fa real, yo!" (jay-z)

my incredible writers class after the workshop performance (to right) hallie (dope), kerry ann (crazy), barbara (ct's finest), ed (the dancing machine!), roger (the newly shaved mohawk), camara (my jamaican systa), erika (takin ova chicago) & mya (the spirited)... Poet's House, NYC 2005

patricia smith. my hero. she is currently getting over a stint in the hospital. my prayers are with you (and amari says she misses grandma and grandpa! lol)

the most beautiful painting - by an incredible painter in denver, co named Natiq. good luck with the move to PA homie...

shelle the neo soul-dier, playing dominoes like a... soldier? hell i ran out of stuff to say! lol

reggie, taalam, me and jive... poetry afterparty in austin 2005 -- they do it right out there ya'll!

aubrey and her mama Austin's Jo... isn't she adorable??

aja's graduation! look how pretty and grown up she looks? my girl is interning at nickelodeon for the summer! yeaaa

this is the little boy that likes amari! j calls him "steve"!

drumline revisited -- i think that's why we didnt get home until 10pm! but it was worth it!

the dancing exhibit after her show -- it was beautiful!

amari all dressed and ready for her first play (with solo lines) ever! jun 21, 2005

muhibb and a true wordsmith (no screaming, no dancing -- just poetry) named scripture

we had a swinging time after a well-needed trip to Elsa's! hot wings anyone??

me and my nigerian systa adugo. she taught me about alters, liberation and ahem, movements! hostess with the most shyt talkin' since 1995!

this brother (dan) owns a beautiful jazz club and can actually write the hell outta a poem! business-minded and creative? word!

my favorite smiling revolutionary: muhibb... he hooked up the ill tour through the mil's hood including a trip to edwaurdo's (spinach stuffed pizza) by the beach (what beach? -- yea, i thought the same damn thing about milwaukee!)

my girl dasha... she run's milwaukee ya'll... mama duck represent! cop her book All Fall Down (syntax 2003)

my girls! aja (left) is headed to sarah lawrence & sasha (right) is headed to howard. watch out world -- they can write they asses off! :)

my woman in hip hop class -- urban word 2005... i love these kids!

ms amanda and i -- aipf 2005. right after she won the anthology award and before our coffee break!

amari holding it down at the kids' discovery place...

jivepoetic & big mike (southern fried 2nd place indie!) being so jersey! disrespectful LOL

so much going on -- thought i'd share some good time withca... enjoy!me and likwid's wife... kimmie is the truth, trust me! southern fried 2005, charlotte

a london prayer...

heard about the news when i checked online...

sent out emails like crazy... thank goodness nii, marie, tuggstar & benny are ok... waiting to hear back from sammy & leo, eska, agnes, elayne, ebele, afro gee & shortman...

i know what its like to look in the sky and smell humans -- lingering dust clouds and spirits tangle in the wind.

makes you really wonder -- if this is their response -- what in the world are they reacting to?

...my prayers are with the wounded, the deceased and those that love them... my prayers are also with those souls walking amongst the ashes -- striving to live like none of this scares the shyt out of them.

ONLY 17 left! WEBSITE LAUNCH

www.jamonitpoetry.com
das right. jive and i have taken it ova... next stop - ya hood! lol
check out the new site! we only have 17 tickets left of the 120 seater
theatre!

www.jamonitpoetry.com

if you are asking yourself why you should check - don't! just check it out!
see the Slam Royalty that are blessing the mic! nevamind the biters, or the haters
it's a ploy! don't let 'em play you! if you were wondering how you could buy your ticket any sooner -- here's ya chance!

so what are you waiting on?

come thru! if you are coming from out of town -- let me know. i will hook u up with the hotel deals!

live from cali thinking of brooklyn!

recipe 4 man

for a brother going thru a hard time. i don't know if it is even my place to tell him this. but i feel his pain. i know the culprit -- and i wish him strength.


i.

how to break a man's heart
add scent of sex
red lipstick
attentive hugs
seductive grins
double meanings
sweet lies
illusion of trust
illusion of love
illusion of respect
stir
and pour
when he checks for his heart
she will be out the door
promising friendship
fellowship
love
and religion

ii.

how to mend a broken heart

trash her picture
ignore her emails
stop waiting for her call

when she begs for forgiveness
give it to her -- through silence
through prayer

don't sacrifice yourself
as a gift
she's no room for love, yet

breath a song
create a masterpiece
one for your future wife
and one for your future daughter
tell her how to love men properly
-- but first tell her how to love herself
this is important

ignore her instant messages

its a trap
its a trap
its a trap

remember the hurt
remember the pain
remember her smile - it warned you then
lips painted red for blood

offer her your blessings through whispers
against corners towards the moon
hope the light finds her
guides her through the darkness

certain it wont be your palms
pushing her towards the sun
again

hot fun in the summer time: essence music festival

beautiful black folk everywhere!

my flight got in late, so i missed meshell ndegecello, talib kweli, kanye west -- but made it for destiny's child. made it fun! dammit but i had the same flight as Kid Capri, Rod Styler (comedian) and the promoter of one of the biggest parties (featuring: H-Town, Melyssa Ford & D'Angelo) Big Shug.

was starving, as i waited to get to new orleans forever, then by the time we started getting dressed (think 4 women in a hotel room with a bag for clothes and a bag for shoes -- scary!) we headed out. after the hotel my sis wanted to party at club utopia, her new bourbon street find. i was tired -- but went anyway, until we got split up in the most busy street of America. i totally forgot about my passes to the Capri party, so i went back to the hotel, gladly, and crashed!

next morning. dressed and walked myself down two blocks to order food (finally) and chill at the bar while they made my catfish po boy to go. damien (the bartender) was on point with my double order of COFFEE! lol took it back to the room in time to see my sistren waking up. we head to MOTHER's a local southern food haven but the line is about 2 new york blocks long... i'm not hungry - so i laugh and sit back as we make a beehive to IHOP. the food is nasty - but the service is hospitable. go figure.

we head to the essence expo and pick up a couple of books, i cop carl hancock rux new joint "asphalt" -- haven't read it yet, as i am revisiting (kenji's first one) dark. after he mailed it to me -- i decided to give it a good read while on tour -- when i have nothing else to do. so it has my full attention. ps - its crazy good!

ok. so after that -- we finally get back. take a disco nap. we wake at 11pm, start the getting dressed process and head to Utopia again! don't ask me why! but -- it's crunk! we dance like we're 18. me and the cast act a damn fool -- until some dude named Craig tries a simulated sex act with me - then i have to push homie to the side and rest my ankle. i hold onto the dacing cage (yes there was one of those) until a systa and a young man rock it so hard that i look back and catch myself watching the first sex in a cage act eva! i walk to the stage to distance myself. whoa
we get bottles of water - cause as soon as you step in the heat and humidity washes over you -- feeling like a wet tongue from an unwanted kiss... just too uncomfortable! i sit on stage while my sis' acts a damn fool. i've realised, she's too old for most of the dances -- i mean, her body ain't bendy like it used to be - and she realises it after 3 hours, she catches a charley horse! lol we finally head back around 4am. take showers and talk until 6 before leave to beat the rush @ that spot MOTHER's. the food is so good - i repent all my sins!

our last day there, i get a massage, take a swim in the heated pool and buy souvenirs. it's a great way to end a vacation. headed back to cali 6 in the morning -- where i will visit fam, check on my lil' one and possibly write some more stuff!

i will be back on the touring schedule starting next week, so im going to get a manicure and another massage to help the stiffness in my ankle.

live from cali

punk

ass bitch ass trick ass airline... 2 hour delay for new orleans///


steaming in jfk international airport

slangin'

JAM ON IT tickets like crack! whoa

n mo stuff

chillin' ova in these parts people. the rain is back n forth
making it real hard to not slip. doc said i can remove the
cam walker (the robotic leg thingie!) but my foot is still too
fat to fit in my shoes... even my shell toes! :(

no worries!
we went to check out the theatre again for the aug 6th show. it
is just so amazing ya'll. the conception. the manifestation of
an idea? it's so beautiful. i promise you -- almost as good as
an orgasm. ok -- a small orgasm, but it feels good all the same!

i am selling tickets as we speak, crystal i ain't forgot about
you sweetie! push my paypal t-shirt joint on the site and i will send them out
immediately! lol believe it or not, we have sold over 50 tickets already!
the theatre only seats 120! so i'm very pleased, especially since
we haven't sent out the mass emailing! i love ya'll for that...

i gotta go work on takin' ova the world. me and he got mountains
to crush... in a minute

bklyn livin'

ps: shout to ms bassey. i believe in you sis. rock on!
mr hart -- hold it down in madison, thanks for the inspiration -- always welcomed
and definitely needed!
dasha. you are my systa, man. we knew this in canada, right? can't wait for the slumber party! co-ed, eh? lol see ya when i return in aug!
amari, mommy misses you.
black, thanks for the smoking quit. we love to hate you too much to see you kilt ova!
vic, as usual my gyrl that comes thru right on time.
esther - you deserve all the happiness in the world. im so proud of you.

da dopeness!

mr. d hart, from madison, WI wrote an incredible poem. he and his wife
have the most beautiful family! it was a joy hanging out with them while i toured
milwaukee & madison wisconsin! i posted the poem he wrote due to a conversation we
had about inspiration and lack of sources as a touring poet. touche' mr hart!




She reaches deeply
into her poetic pockets
and pulls out lent
because see she's spent
the last three hours bent
over wobbly bar tables listening
to uninspired drivel and endless
rhythmic drone

So when her name's called
she wants to use the microphone
to build linguistic structures
of poetic stone that she's
honed from kinetic energy
channeled telepathically from her head
to her
heart

And as she starts to build
she feels the microphone
between her fingers--
it is a thimble-sized phallic symbol other
poets have used to repeatedly
violate anything that resembles African history,

but the microphone transforms rapidly
into metallic pheromones that provide comfort and
therapy to the young masses that listen
at the open mic waiting to be moved, waiting for greatness

And her greatest greatness is
she knows that if the masses
hear more wacked poetry tonight
they may rise together in mutiny,
she knows
that if they hear more work not subject
to intense scrutiny, literary irony, self-edit
grammar, and spell check
they may just spray the joint

And her delivered verbs never disappoint us
but at some point her soul has to have the same
refreshment her body gives the masses
at some point her brain needs caressing,

I'm guessing

I'm guessing she wallows in
the empty hollow spaces in time created by Diogenes' mantra paraphrased,

blessed is she who keep on blessing

when all of the lessons she's learned from the sonnet
of single motherhood
are packed into a fifteen minute show
and rocked to be understood by the masses
who don't quite recognize her pain but
understand her flow

and so like Diogenes
she packs up her knapsack
heads to another venue
looking to be inspired.

(c) d. hart

fugee - la - la - long!

das right. da fugees rocked BET awards, got back together. i wasn't mad. however that damn performance was like a mini-concert. a bit much. but - when else would you have seen lauryn rocking that classy blunt cut wig? beautiful... just beautiful!

brewing in bklyn
(til fugees finish the new album!)

thxs rashida!

you know i've been in NYC too long when i can relate to over half of this damn list! now, here is the clencher! your homework is to complete a list similar to this about your OWN city. i will be making one for Oakland -- as that is my true home! can't wait to hear yours!

You Know You`re From New York City When...

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle
to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can`t find
Wisconsin on a map.

Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

The subway makes sense.

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes
you multi-lingual.

You`ve considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

You call an 8` x 10` plot of patchy grass a yard.

You consider Westchester "upstate".

You think Central Park is "nature."

You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer`s speaking.

You`re paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think
it’s a "steal."

You`ve been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in
rent.

Youhaven`t seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away
to camp as a kid.

You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are
heading to bed.

Your closet is filled with black clothes.

You haven`t heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when
you did, it terrified you.

You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

You take fashion seriously.

Being truly alone makes you nervous.

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

You`ve gotten jaywalking down to an art form.

You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

You don`t notice sirens anymore.

You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.

Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your
building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite
bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your
corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian
and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

You`re suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.

You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

Your door has more than three locks.

Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.

You`re 35 years old and don`t have a driver`s license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are
seats available.

You`re willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the
rent.

There is no North and South. It`s uptown or downtown.

When you`re away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.

You know the differences between all the different Ray`s Pizzas.

You`re not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year`s
Eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the
Street parking regulations are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can
read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger`s hats.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from NYC.

how stella lost her damn groove!

so, i can't lie. i love angela bassett but i hated that damn movie "how stella got her groove back". but i didn't hate the movie enough to wish this on the sista. read the story below.

In a tale rich in lost love, closeted secrets and acrimonious divorce, it
turns out that famed local writer Terry McMillan -- whose celebrated romance
and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of
her fictionized best-seller "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" --
actually got her groove back with a man who now says he's gay.
The story is spilling out in made-for-Hollywood detail in Contra Costa
County Superior Court, where McMillan has filed for divorce from her
Jamaican- born husband of six years, Jonathan Plummer.
McMillan, 53, said in court documents that the marriage was based on a
"fraud'' because Plummer lied about his sexual orientation -- and married
her only to gain U.S. citizenship.
"It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the
world as life-affirming and built on mutual love was actually based on
deceit,'' she wrote in her declaration. "I was humiliated."
Plummer, 30, countered in court papers of his own that McMillan has turned
on him with a "homophobic'' vengeance and is trying to force his return to
an uncertain future in Jamaica. He wants to void the couple's prenuptial
agreement that would keep from him most of the millions she's earned as a
writer.
He also claims he was denied his full share of royalties, as spelled out in
the prenup, from "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," the fictionalized account
of a single mother's torrid relationship with a Jamaican young enough to be
her son that very much parallels the lives of McMillan and Plummer.
Plummer's attorney, Dolores Sargent, said her client has no interest in
embarrassing McMillan or extorting money from her.
"All I want to do is settle the case in a way that's fair to both parties
... and that allows Jonathan sufficient funds to re-establish himself,''
Sargent said. "And we have been blocked.''
In court papers, however, McMillan leaves little doubt that she believes
Plummer was always motivated by money.
"Jonathan has manipulated me from the very beginning in his scheme to come
to the United States, become a citizen and get rich through someone else's
effort,'' McMillan wrote in one of her filings.
In fact, McMillan says Plummer zeroed in on her precisely because of her
celebrity status as an author whose earlier books included "Waiting to
Exhale, '' which sold some 4 million copies and was made into a movie.
In an interview, Plummer insisted that he didn't know he was gay when he met
McMillan in June 1995 at a Jamaican resort. Nor, he says, did he seize on
the author's fame.
"I was a 20-year-old kid when I met her and had no idea that she was anybody
other than an attractive, older woman,'' he said in court papers.
For her part, McMillan, who was then 42, said she worried when she first met
Plummer that he was interested only in her money. "But Jonathan was very
charming and made me believe that he was crazy about me,'' she told the
court.
The two eventually married in Maui on Sept. 8, 1998 -- but not before
Plummer signed a prenup that waived his rights to everything should they
ever part, including "temporary and permanent spousal support and attorney's
fees, '' according to court papers filed by McMillan.
The couple settled in McMillan's $4 million Danville home and, at least
according to Plummer, enjoyed a happy life -- until the last few years when
the marriage started coming undone.
"He became less attentive, less charming, more distracted and absent from
the home,'' McMillan wrote in her declaration.
Plummer said he was spending long hours with a dog-grooming business in
Danville that McMillan had set up for him a couple of years ago in apparent
anticipation of a split.
It wasn't until just before last Christmas, Plummer says, that the two
finally split -- after he revealed he was gay.
"I was kicked out of the house in December right after I told her,'' he said
in the interview.
In court records, however, McMillan says Plummer confessed to being gay only
after she confronted him about all his hours of phone calls to a male friend
living in Jamaica. She also says she later learned that Plummer was
participating in online gay chat sites.
In any event, judging from the court filings, the disclosure quickly turned
ugly. McMillan obtained a restraining order to keep Plummer from their
house, and she claimed she recently discovered that Plummer had embezzled at
least $200,000 from her bank accounts before and during their marriage. (He
admits in court papers "a gross error of judgment" in taking $62,000 without
her knowledge, but said that he was financially dependent on her during the
marriage and that he intends to pay it back.)
Plummer obtained his own restraining order against the author, alleging that
McMillan constantly harassed him for coming out of the closet, and at one
point walked into his dog-grooming business and tossed a ceramic object
across the room.
"She kept calling me, saying nasty things about me being gay, calling me a
fag,'' Plummer said in an interview.
In a Jan. 14 letter written by McMillan and filed with the court, the author
told Plummer, "The reason you're going to make a great fag is that most of
you guys are just like dogs anyway. ... You do whatever with whomever
pleases you and don't seem to care about the consequences."
Plummer also says McMillan came into the dog-grooming shop and left him a
bottle of Jamaican hot pepper sauce on which she wrote, "Fag Juice Burn Baby
Burn,'' and that she also scrawled "Jonathan's Fag boyfriend Fag'' on a
photo of a friend.
"She is an extremely angry woman who is homophobic and is lashing out at me
because I have learned I am gay,'' Plummer declared in a court filing last
month.
McMillan's attorney, Jill Hersh -- a divorce lawyer who has handled civil
rights cases involving gay couples and their children -- says her client "is
anything but homophobic.''
"However, she feels betrayed and disappointed ... that her husband is gay,
'' Hersh said. "And anything you have seen in the pleadings emanates from
how she is experiencing the end of her marriage, and it doesn't have to do
with anything else.''
Hersh also disputes Plummer's contention that McMillan was seeking an
annulment as a way to get him deported, as he alleges. In pressing her claim
of fraud, however, McMillan told the court that Plummer waited to tell her
he was gay until he knew his application for citizenship was going to be
approved.
Plummer says he understands that McMillan felt betrayed by his coming out.
"But I was being truthful to myself, and didn't want to hurt her anymore,''
he said.
On June 17, a Superior Court judge handed Plummer a minor victory --
ordering McMillan to pay him $2,000 a month in spousal support, plus $25,000
in attorney's fees -- until a full trial on the validity of the prenuptial
agreement and the annulment request is heard in October.

monday rainin'

its rainy. j and i were gonna head to dc for the week. an impromptu outing. i love his spontaniety. but its raining and we slept in. just like a poet! maybe tomorrow. side's we got's to finish pre-production for aug 6th show (JAM ON IT!)... will have a special contest for my readers & friends! the best answer can get a pair of tickets! how bout that?

brooklyn showers

nerd or geek

he says im a nerd because i am in utter awe of the 78th national spelling bee. that's just the hate spewing, since he can't spell so well

quiz part II -- addicted? me...?

my sexual style...
i don't know think i needed a test for this info - but hey!?

Violent 88% Hot 75% Exciting 56% Wet 44% Sweet 44% Soft 31% Awkward 19% Shy 19% What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

sat backwash

wierd day. tried to finish my milwaukee run.
got pics and the whole nine. just gotta finish
this thing. it's funky ya'll. gimme a minute

brooklyn

do's and don'ts

do:
give a hug to someone you love everyday

don't:
slap the shytta outta EVERYONE...just someone who really deserves it

do:
cultivate your craft. if you are a painter - paint. if you are a plumber - plung!

don't:
wait for the world to come to you -- it's almost always late

do:
build mountains with those likeminded individuals

don't:
build mountains with those stalkers that want to be you

do:
love yourself. love life. love the make up of this ugly world

don't:
complain about this ugly world, unless you are willing to try and change it

JAM ON IT... ONE MO GIN!

WE PUT POETRY BACK ON BROADWAY! COME CHECK OUT THE SLAM CHAMPIONS OF OUR TIME:


JAM ON IT

featuring:
international slam champ: taalam acey (Batlimore)
nps indie slam champ: sonya renee (DC)
southern fried indie slam champ: paul d (miami)

producers club
358 W. 44th St. (@8th Ave)
doors open @ 10pm
showtime @ 11pm
tickets $15 (group rates available)

reservations encouraged
info@mobrowne.com

my lil american idol

amari is phenomenal! she had her play. and she was dope. and the play was as ghetto as possible. but it was beautiful. they had an african dance exhibit, they had a drumline exhibit. and it was really great. she heads to cali tomorrow. i will show you the pictures and tell you all about milwaukee after i finish her hair and packing.

live from BK

quiz it - thx know13

people rarely offer tests that say they are shyt... but not me... not mahogany l. browne. here is the test i took after checking out my girl know13's... and the first one was sorta close -- but after that i just felt offended! but i'm not complaining... no siree bob. misunderstood is only the beginning of my days as a writer. enjoy my pain.

m


Your Existing Situation
Unable to exert the efforts to achieve her objectives. Feels neglected, desiring greater security, warm affection, and fewer problems.

Your Stress Sources
Eager to make a good impression, but worried and doubtful about the likelihoodof succeeding. Feels that she has a right to anything she might hope for, and becomes helpless and distressed when circumstances go against her. Finds the mere possibility of failure most upsetting and this can even lead to nervous prostration. Sees herself as a 'victim' who has been misled and abused, mistakes this dramatization for reality and tries to convince herself that her failure to achieve standing and recognition is the fault of others.


Your Restrained Characteristics
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood nor adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.


Your Desired Objective
Demands that ideas and emotions shall merge and blend perfectly. Refuses to make any concessions or to accept any compromises.


Your Actual Problem
Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goalshave led to anxiety, emptiness, and an unadmitted self-contempt. Her refusal to admit this leads to her adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude.


Your Actual Problem #2
Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on her resources. This feeling of powerlessness subjects her to agitation and acute distress. She reacts by considering that she has been victimized, and insists--with indignation, resentment, and defiance--on being given her own way.

free - dom...

free concerts in bklyn & the bronx...
roy ayers and big daddy kane, to john legend and lyfe jemmings...
who say the meltin' pot ain't got free ish?

wisonsin got more than cheese...

went to the all nite diner and almost keeled ova from eating SOOO much! dasha holds it down out here. they truly know how to treat artists!

so yea, im still here in milwaukee... recently returned from madison, wi. and i'm in awe. though i was supposed to go to chicago last nite and check out my girl deana dean and taalam -- but i missed the last train. so whateva. i hung out with the milwaukee cats...

everyone is just incredible people! its beautiful!
i will give you the rundown on the entire tour when i get back to brooklyn...
just trying out the wireless affect on my new laptop... u hear me gloating?

im sorry... this was just long and overdue.

live from the cheese factory

i did it

got a new computer. just now. i swear!
got off the plane in milwaukee, went to get copies @ office depot
(the touring poets mantra) and i saw a laptop on sale.
it was a really good one for a cheap price.
and because im tired of my computer kicking me off... i did it!
i bought it - with my last little bit of cash. but i just kept say'n
"its an investment"
and it is. my art depends on this.

live from milwaukee

ps - much love to my sis. who just called with the great news and a free ticket to new orleans for 4th of July weekend!

problematic

he says i have a problem
that i should never wish anyone dead
but i do

- so die already...

why you are crazy if you should ever date a poet!

I - poets are always working on their next poem... hence - the poetic gestures in your excxhange!

II - poets never say what they mean. there are always several meanings waiting in the wings!

III - poets have TOO many groupies. and if they are good they may have countries full! while this may not mean anything to the confident partner - but after truck loads of love letters, songs, and sex offers the rejection process can become a tiring, tedious & overwhelming.

IV - poets are workaholic. if they aren't at a venue stuck under some spotlight, they are buried in the bat cave writing a masterpiece.

V - poets are crazy. just plain ole' outta their nutshell!


now if you must DATE one of these maniacs. here are a couple of really great things about these artist.

i. poets are in touch with words. they have a way of manipulating them so well that you feel like you are walking on fluffy word clouds whenever they are around (see what i just did?! dats what im talking about!)

ii. poets more than likely will immortalize your shyt! having a poem written about you (not no eminem ish either!) is the biggest turn on (when you are a woman) so to hear a poem written in your likeness, is like a painter winning a prize after sketching a portrait of you.

iii. even if they are dense. they usually have some really intense emotions. you can feel it in their speech. their kiss. their hold. if they are passionate about writing, just compare that to their passion behind closed doors!

iv. if you are a loner, your poet mate will be out working -- alot! and if you need to be reminded that your mate is hot -- there will be more than enough admirers milling around, waiting for you to leave this hunka hunka mountain of words. all a pleasant reminder that you have a good catch!

v. poets are crazy. what can i say - some people like drama! lol

my battle rap!

Shy-putter waitin’ for the world to give you a break
Make it happen like blueprints
And build that shyt if you got too
Many times I’m asked the answer
To questions that have escaped me like memories
And I know the next bus is coming
So I’ve decided not to run
Where’s the fun in chasing something
That ain’t yours to hold?

Only a rock star knows this hustle
Breathes the break beats like a soldier
Checks the tail for the hang gliders –
But I can’t let you shine off’a my name
So I’ll ignore ya
Shake my shoulder and pop collars
Laugh at the immaturity brimming over
I’ll take another hit of C.R.E.A.M please
won’t let it faze me
Like I won’t let you see me coming
Surface when you least expect it
Like the boogeyman I haunt the weak
Watch ‘em shudder when it’s my turn to wreck shyt
Cause they ain’t eating if I’m rocking
And I’m rocking cause it’s my birth rite
You mad cause you want the light
Understandably weak of you
Just trust the night
Slip into the shadows and dream bigger
Birth a new day
And swim quickerTurn faster
Writer harder
And try to live longer
Chasing my dust will on make you choke
On the hate
Shifting envy like that’s what its gonna take to make you betta
It wont
trust me
There are 4 more like you in the side wings
Practicing their cameo appearance in this Life
and the next
Romancing a life that ain’t yours
is seriously detrimental to your health

so what///

whiners suck. myself included! lol
it is sooooo hot, i can't stand it.
im taking myself to a movie. dammit
after my performance with the pregnant
teens -- imma come talk to you about the truth

cause i gots to get dis' off my brain

brooklyn live wire

a week's worth

wed
11pm
here i am. sitting at blvd located in the LES of NYC.
naked booties and breasts EVERYWHERE
hush magazine is an adult magazine (see: black playboy)
and i dig the fact that the owner is a woman
so yea, im down...
i perform BLACK P*SSY before the fashion show
which starts late (about 45 minutes late)
head to the door with my cane, smiling at the red carpet that i walked down
before heading to my broken down SATURN
i still have to pick up amari and j so we can head to Jersey before leaving for Charlotte(breathe)

thurs
3pm
we have passed a car rolling backwards without a driver, several cars flipped over, and atleast 3 other
fender benders. if anyone knows north carolina -- u know that the driving is ridiculous
we finally get to registration (about 1 hour late) just to find out we have a bout in less than 2 hours!
we still havent checked into our hotel (which is 8 miles away) showered, crapped. and we all smell
like car... we get to our bout - lose by 5 points (the southern fried fiasco is outlined on the OTHER weblog). whateva
we eat steak and shrimp anyway. regroup. practice and pass out.

fri
10
slammaster's meeting (outlined in the other weblog as well).
we gather everyone together, eat at joe's crab shack - it's not as good
as the sign said it would be. kas pays 30 bucks for a chicken salad!
i liberate a t-shirt in honor of it all...we slam that nite against DC & Columbia
we win. i got my coffee. we stay to support newark vs New orleans. they lose by half a point.
amari falls asleep -- however, she has written her best poem yet. called the twin towers
in this masterpiece, she says: don't vote for george shush. (as in be quiet!) yes. my baby gets a
standing ovation! head back to the hotel. nothing but mickey d's open (and after 100 dolla's worth of eating the nite before
that's all we eating)... we sleep

sat
10am
im sick. really sick. i cant sit down without having to run to the bathroom and every other minute
we all have breakfast at the hotel cafe. i take amari swimming after i pray to the porcelain god once more.
we head to the bout - we have to slam @ 3pm. we get there, the slam gets full, starts late (as usual). tally black on black and flint, michigan are in our bout. we win. i got the only 30 of the bout! likwid got a 29.9 jive and kas got a 29.7 - its kinda bittersweet.
cause now we have to wait to see which teams won or lose to see if we are in (see southern fried scandal for that story!)
we are shafted for our spot in the finals. when i say shafted i mean STICK UP THE A-HOLE FOR US YANKS!
whateva, we support the teams that made it cause they are firstly our friends!
ches kanno, asia, will da real one & paul d rep for miami with a cat named Khaleed (sp?). charlotte reps with sheba, mekkah, bluz, Q, and maze. newark reps with flow, big mike, myra and another systa...dont remember her name. and new orleans rocked as the 4th team. charlotte won, miami 2nd, nj 3rd. cant wait to get home.

sun
3am
we left as quickly as possible. got home after a lot of sleeping with numb hands and legs and stiff neck
finally pulled into nj - but j, amari and i still have 45 minutes to get home in bklyn
we do
eat jamaican food from golden krusts
feed the cats, clean up their crap
wash the car off of us again and sleep
hard

re-affirm...life lessons III

...keep your enemies closer --

i can't say that has worked well for me. i don't have it in me to front for the sake of it. sitting in someone's face like i really dig them -- it ain't in me to lie to myself! lol even though its one of those 48 laws of power. i have tried to separate friends from business. that makes it easier to deal... like my man says "you don't have to like everyone you work with."

i think my experience has proven the fable about the mouse, lion and bird are closer. "those that shyt aren't necessarily your friends & those that help you out of the shyt aren't necessarily your friends".



action speak louder than words--

this is definitely true. i can't knock it and i have to remind myself to pay attention to what is happening, rather than what someone says. words are pretty and ugly and necessary - but action is the entire reflection of their soul. tormented or not.



treat ever day as if its your last --

word up! i realized, i start going haywire if i sit in the house *now that i'm off of bed rest!* and just watch tv. my body was built for moving mountains. 'sides, i want to teach amari that nothing is given to you. nothing except grief. you have to work for your happiness - but you also should enjoy the hard work. i don't believe in just working and working and never looking around me. this world is too gorgeous for that crap. take in the scene. i promise you - it's worth it.



working hard, loving hard, playing hard...

i can't help it. i still do these things. i mean what i say. and if i don't mean what i say (i.e., FUK YOU) then i will soon enough. i act in haste, but the emotions are pure. i work like any single mother. i have nothing from amari's father. only thing i can thank him are her eyes. she is definitely the best little girl on the earth.

yesterday i told her, AMARI means "lovely immortal girl" in hebrew and "god is highest" in swahilli.

she asked why i named her that and "what does immortal mean?"

i told her "it means living forever."

she said "i can't live forever, mommy."

i said "i know. but the good you do on this earth will last forever. look at malcom x. look at martin luther king. ida b wells. rosa parks. do you understand?"

she said, "yes."

and replied "thanks mom. thanks for thinkin' i'm immortal. i think you will help alot of people too."


i hope so 'mari... i hope so

here we go again

going thru the same thangs... here we go again! ya'll remember that song? those cats actually came to my high school and performed in the quad. does anyone remember their name? hmmm

today was surprisingly great. my girls at the pregnant school in Queens had their last performance/workshop - it was dope. i brought in books from christa bell, queen sheba, doreen baidoo, rac mckibbens, staceyann chin, marie malette, mayda devalle, katie o'loughlin, sydnee stewart, jade d banks, phyastartah, slam queens of buffalo ny, uche and so many more talented contemporary women poets on the scene. the girls LOVED them!

i have to get ready for my cave canem workshop tonite. im so proud of my girl amanda! she got accepted into the cave canem summer retreat. which we will be attending next year! it's a blast. nights full of writing, partying, building with other artists NON STOP! can you imagine that? i can hear the writer in you shivering! lol

anyway, the sun is shinin' bright and i gotta print out papers, wash clothes and get ready for my show at HUSH tomorrow and then we all leave for Southern Fried around 3am tomorrow (as in thursday) morning... get at you in a minute.

bklyn sun'n

got my back...

thank you for the emails to whoop asses on my account. i love the thug in all of you!
thanks for the support and the love and the ear...it makes working thru the bull so much easier.

today is the official beginning of summer. crazee hot at 8 in the morning. dat's right - it was 75 before i even took amari to school! argh!

working on the book with my london gal pal - one of britan's illest writers! trust. the shyt just got snatched by an incredible publisher - look out for the drop in October. which is when her and i will travel -- she's coming to NYC then i will be in Europe for an entire month... nice

also gotta work on my article for the magz, my group piece with the team and my workshop write up for tomorrow's meeting... to say the least - carpel tunel will soon be in affect! but the creativity is worth it. yes!

so -- i listed my schedule below. i wants to see ya'll. let's catch up on good books, good books. good living. tell me what does your day smell like so far? mines smells like:

white chocolate
soap
sweat
flurried kisses
and sun

bklyn livewire


JUNE:
8 - HUSH ADULT MAGAZINE RELEASE PARTY, BLVD NYC
9 - 11 Southern Fried Regionals Charlotte, NC
13 - BAR 13 (COVER SLAM)
17 - 22 MILWAUKEE
24 - SLAM FUNDRAISER - NEWARK, NJ
27 - BAR 13 (FORM SLAM)

JULY
1 - BKLYN VS NJ SCRIMMAGE
14 - URBANA REMATCH nyc
15 - NUBIAN HERITAGE BKLYN, NY
16 - WORD 4 WORD NYC
17 - 19 SEATTLE
22 - 24 SAY WORD LITERARY FESTIVAL DENVER, CO
25 - CORPUS CHRISTI SLAM, TX
27 - SUBSTANCE ABUSE CONFERENCE - AUSTIN, TX

AUGUST
10 - 13 NATIONAL POETRY SLAM ALBEQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO
27 - ARKANSAS WORLD SLAM, FAYETTEVILLE, AK

allow me to reintroduce myself

my name is MO... otherwise known as Mahogany.
got big things this week, my friends.
i have two shows for my pregnant mother's class.
and i will be performing at HUSH MAGAZINE Release Party
it's an adult magazine -- like a Black PLAYBOY. well
see...

had our team meeting today. it was fanTABulous! shadowkat did his
thang, Likwid just might get offa HOUSE punishment in time
for the nationals (fingers crossed). Kasim flipped his Wacko
Jacko poem. but we had to reconsider our audience and voted against it.

i did my new piece word life and meltdown (my icarus) -- so i'm
really lookin' forward to this summer. we leave for southern fried
in charlotte, nc on thurday morning and im getting prepared
for amari's cali departure. my sis is coming to get her for the summer
with my neice and nephew...

i still have a couple of group pieces to write. about what? well you will have
to join us in new mexico aug 10 - 13 for that surprise!

days missed

sorry ya'll. the work is overwhelming. i'm gonna sit my ass down and talk to you fa real. give me til' sunday evening...

myself when i am tired in bklyn

m

how it all begins (ideas, rants & artistic love)

and then it was def.
before it was every considered valuable by the masses
which turn fickle over music and pop stars, pop culture
and pop icons

this poetry thing became big over night
and surpassed the predecessors attempt
for freedom of step n fetch-it routines

how we make it from now
will be how it is marked in history
and how it will be marked in the books
is how it will be preserved
and how it is remembered will be what
our children, and their children, and our
great great grandchildren will revisit
to feel for themselves
under their toes
and between their palms
grasped in their fists
and against their back
winding wind this thing
called poetry -- how it began

this was actually just some thoughts. i want us to be better poets. i do. i want to leave the earth with the trail scorched by US. the artists whose tears have dried into the earth. by us. artists whose blood has been bleached by sun after staining concrete. by us. poets who believe in the power of the word. not by the corporate machine that aims to exploit us for everything we got and can get. i pray for you. the you that is starving, hungry, underpaid, undiscovered, raw talent, no image -- artists! you make them see us for who we are - not who they want us to be. we are fierce.

live from queens headed back to bklyn for a root canal...

PS - KIM

you have got to change dat damn site! how am i to write how much i love everything on the page -- all the new voices, all the new images... but that ish is to hi tech for me! :(

i'm crazy tired. no introspections this morning. i just want coffee (shout out to my girl 'manda!). there are so many things happening this week as we get ready for southern fried and the nationals. so just wish me luck and godspeed.

going back to bed in bklyn