by 5...

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Daddy’s first born
Bursting with life and questions
Bicenntennial baby
She was early
Too soon from mama’s womb
They didn’t think she would make it
Words spoken too soon

5
Repeat after me “walk fast before I beat yo ass”
Daddy shoved shoulders
And mommy slumped forward
I hummed to the tune in my head
Pretended I was a ballerina instead
Didn’t want to focus on the swollen tissue
Too bright for lipstick to disguise
Her eyes nursed a pain I’ve never seen before
Police officers shouted while steel barrels echoed their warnings

10
this was when i stopped humming

15
forgot what it was like to hear daddy’s laugh
mama’s tears were replaced
with opaque rocks
smoked under fire
burning embers and bridges
stealing childhood
like nickel candies with closed fists
and quick feet
I crawled under bed spaces
Past the dust bunnies
Searching for mama’s tongue

20
baby kicks
she loves the rhythm of my song
shadows that crowd 3X5 paper
remind me I’m not alone
first love left
just like daddy
history ain’t no sucka
wish I paid closer attention
as lover’s reflection became daddy
how didn’t I recognize the resemblance
pretended I was a ballerina again
no one ever forgets how to kick ball change

25
prayers keep me sane
I lost both daddy’s and discovered my song
She was sipping my soul on a beach
Watching sun sets
Offered me my sanity like a toke
Instead I scribed the medicine on a postcard
To mama
Giving her the will to reclaim her song