shine'n

its gorgeous outside. life is bright again. no class, it got cancelled after i found parking and dropped jive off at the subway. it was blaring sun rays early this morning - i would know, i didn't sleep 'til 5am. but that right there wasn't my fault! lol funny how weather can play such an important part on ya psyche (but don't get it twisted, i did/do want to smack da shyt outta people.) but when the sky is as blue as it is right now -- i'd rather be orange.

making lemonade...

so practice had a crazy rocky start. and im sittin' there damn near pouting. i can't get with the half-assed attempts made by some of our team mates and i take the nationals seriously. maybe too seriously. i don't know. what i do know is -- there is a method to the planning of nationals so that once you get to the function - you can focus on having fun, rather than practicing! anywayz - big mike sat thru a lot of hell. all worth it for his guests. his wife is by far the realest "EVER". Maddy was serving Mike with the verbal punches for a good hour - i swear, i wanted to buy her a drink - even though the arbor mist was already empty. we talked about infidelity and how to NOT be STOOPID. the men sat there looking like, duhhh, and she had me cracking up so hard that i almost choked on the chips and dip!

life started to look better. i forgot (for the meanwhile) about my absent team members, i forgot about my slam master's family emergency, i forgot about all the hate and indecisiveness that i had been feelin' and just laughed. laughed my ass off. maddy has a way of sayin shyt that everybody already knows is true - but is just to care to speak. by the time flowmentalz came -- we were onto eating a pineapple orange cream cheese cake (which was the bomb!) and just cracking jokes. i asked about my friend doughboy and flow called him. before long -- we were headed to see doughboy at his gig for the night. he was dj'n @ a gogo bar (yes, tittie bar - difference between strip club is New Jersey law and prohibiting nakedness).

now i haven't been to a good strip club since i covered Luke's Freakfest for the magazine almost 4 years ago. so i was game. so we went to cinderlla's in elizabeth, nj. and i - the only woman in the crew had my hands full. rob hilton came thru and showed his ass -- for everyone. primo, maddy's cousin was a pure gentleman. flow drank beers like water and fawned over the bootylicious gangsta booties, and mike stood behind us critisizing every woman in sight (i.e., "look at her - she look like da joker from batman. yo! she got a bullet wound? aw hell - she just had a baby!"). and what about me you asked? well, when Rob wasn't trying to turn me out with the women (please ms dancer just look her in the eyes and kiss your breasts -- mo interjects "ma. don't listen to him. take this dolla and keep it moving. you doin' ya thang. don't sweat this fool!" the women were all very friendly to me, as we made jokes about my bar mates. i apologized for Rob several times and the women gave me high five on the way out. doughboy kept us on our toes, as he is the WORLD's GREATEST DJ! he played old school hip hop - house tracks and break bits. we were singing along to everything from Bobby Brown, Toni TOne TOny & Rakim. the mix was nuts, the ad libs (which is him singin' like an american idol to comedy skits like bernie mac) - my boy is talented! lol we barely made it out alive, Rob went to buy another drink and mike had enough of the bar. so we returned to linden's poetry casa like the poetry vets that we are, promising we would try this again @ southern fried regionals.

ps - i smiled so much, that i stopped being mad. which helps alot in my life right now. word.

any given sunday or how not to kill a bytch

have practice today...in jersey @ Likwid's house. gonna visit the gym afterwards. today is blah. nothing great and nothing terrible...atleast not at home. or even creatively.

however,
i woke up with a really bad feeling this morning. im afraid i've come to the end of my rope when dealing with a certain person. im scared for their life. i really am. i want to administer a lot of pain upon sight- and though i am not a newcomer to these harmful feelings - i know myself well enough to know, time to back up and take inventory or something. my whole face gets hot and my stomach starts to turn like curdled milk has touched my insides. i get literally sick and then i lash out. i can't even help it. and if i can -- it doesn't seem rational at that moment. i've dealt with so much in mny life - any sign of someone trying to "play me" and i lose it! every scruple of sanity that i once held is tossed to the wind and i operate on swing first ask questions last.

j says i always think someone is trying to play me. but then he has one of the worst tempers ever. so hey - maybe he's just reflecting. anyway, back to this feeling. i want to go by the pier and sit with the birds and toss these feelings into the Bay and just be. but the continuance of a bad thing haunts me. keeps playing in my head like "groundhog day". again and again and again. i reckon they are trying to make me go crazy. which makes me madder. and more volatile. i don't know how to not feel like my buttons are being pushed, purposely. i mean, i know they are. so i guess the issue is: i don't know how NOT to let the parasites suck away my life force.

i mean, honestly what would you do?

bewildered in brooklyn

brooklyn sun'n

we went to the african street festival today. it's a big HUGE brooklyn vendor event that takes places near downtown brooklyn. they had a hot band there called the super lowry brothers. they were rippin' the horns and saxophone with such tenacity, i bought a cd and booked em for a show jive and i are doing. nice!

cop'd the househould a plethora of soul food. potato salad and fried fish for him, fried fish and collard greens for me, chicken wings and yams for amari. and a big glass of RED to go along with it! i truly thought it was pink lemonade, not RED kool-aid, cause that 3 dolla's would've went to something else. TRUST ME!

saw the sista who hooked me up with very fly afro shirts a couple of years ago. her and her husband, medina black have kept the movement going - beautiful skirts and shirts! wanted to support after they hooked me up so lovely, but i think i ran out of money by then. no matter. the festival goes on throughout the weekend.

i love this time of year. summer. hot and heavy and full of life. beating:thriving people, moving. reggae music blasting from the bootlegger's table, food vendors EVERYWHERE, sisters sit regal with dreads, braids and bald heads. smiling at each other past the sun glare. brothers respectfully acknowledging her greatness. tall, fit, walking his bike, his dog, his family -- with pride.

brooklyn african street festival: this is where i purchased my first sarong. this is where i received my first henna tattoo. this is where i ravaged the $7 dollar book table. this is where i watched capoeira and african dancers outstep me - overwhelm me - inspire me. this is where brooklyn begins the birthing of a beautiful spirit.

untitled 3087

she is of judas' blood

struggling with immorality and other
chewing on books of prophet
for profit -- like wooden sticks
freeing her fangs of flesh
fallen behind the movement of humanity
long ago

youth be told
she was of this world before
shunned innocent lamb
and stole the wool for fuk's sake

choked on lover's bones at daybreak
spit up blood
a tradition
haunting whispers
shadow love notes
unsung melodies
voodoo sounds mixed with drum rolls

her theme music -- their cries/her lies

how sweet the sound of the wounded
for her satisfaction they will mourn
26 days
and each year unborn
her reflection is a trick
snatch at the wind for her heart
fool's gold

she leaves sneering remnants for your wonderment
and treads the earth through wind currents
knowing the third day grows near
and the truth will rise
again

a promise to erika b.

so this is where our literary culture stands: Taste Like Chicken, Hustler's Handbooks, Yo Love, Betta Dayz, Ghetto Girls and so many more mispelled words for the sake of neighborhood venacular, i'd lose time typing it all. now, with the acceptance of The Coldest Winter Ever, which was a phenomenal book -- came the idea that EVERY urban ghetto tale should be told.
while im not mad at the hustle of the writers, i am discouraged by the lack of creativity it takes to produce such shitty writing examples highlighting our culture. Yes, we have risen from the ashes of the ghetto (most of us). Yes, we need to spread the word of how to get out and life's lessons. but i'll tell you what, i see another URBAN STORY with more typos than a lil' bit - i just might cut my own writing hand in half!

your mission: grab a book, a real book with correct spelling (unless it was written in the voice of a 1800's slave). get a real book with a plot that hasn't been extinguished in one of those straight to DVD movies. ya know the ones that star all the old school black actorz that went out in the age of VANITY...? i challenge you. make these publishers publish books with a plot, a smart writing style, a unique voice pouring pride and knowledge. check out my favorite newcomers and old schoolers:

kevin powell
kenji jasper
asha bandele
danyel smith
sapphire
pearl cleage
rebecca walker
joan morgan

these are the authors that should be on the essence bestseller list. a group that writes about life, struggle, resistance, self-revelation and revolution -- not just the whims of a stereotypical poultry lover.

untitled 3090

her belly be big
thinkin' bout how the wind goin' make her lose
her appetite
her footing
her smile

it belongs to no one
now
baby has taken priority
and she only hope she gets time to shine
a lil' mo
like her 15 years on this earth
is enough
to hold tight those dreams that she too 'fraid to dream of
now
can't think of that life
got's des' babies to raise

up like trees
big branches with likened bodies
strong minds to match
but how
how, come we ain't got no time
no more
"cause life be like dat, fa real"

gossipin'
'bout girls that can't dance
we laugh
cause we know she won't have much time to do that
no more
she won't want to see
this mouth wanting for her future
years from now
my gap-toothed grin won't be but a memory

as she tosses soiled diaper into trash
burps baby over shoulder
his brown eyes winking at a past
that his mommy only visits during dreams

because... (wip)

the world has spun on its axis
your destination doesn't mean much
unless the galaxy is your oyster
still you to real to see the beams
bursting life from the seams like
whoa!

sit in the sun, if you can stand the heat
burn bright your sparkle must have taken hours
black star
don't stray
music don't play off key for our kind
i see you trying -- steadfast
hold tight, pray
upon each fallen soldier
from the skies
pitch blue black
hurry!

we've no time for the petty
your strength is needed
your time is now
your beginning has begun
you have no start overs
you are being timed
you are being timed
you are being watched
watch out!

because these tears
taste like wine
drunken lust fills our bodies
its up to you to make life more
than that of which you can hold

showers can't stop the smiles

so im here...at the pregnant school in queens. and i have a break already! my type of day, trust me! lmao

sitting with the teachers, talking about my infatuation with coffee! its never-ending, trust me. the project with my london beauty is coming along so perfectly. and the cave canem reading was so explosive! damn -- i haven't smiled like that in a long time. i've been so blessed, that i wasn't even fret'n when j's flight was late coming home... just turned up the car radio and listened to some faith evans "i remember the way you used to love me..."

working on the summer agenda. sun and fun and a little poetry intertwined. that's the goal! we have southern fried slam (regionals in charlotte, nc) from june 7 - 9, then im in milwaukee for 5 days -- i've heard nothing but great things from jive, sheba and taalam -- so i look forward to getting my feet wet. and then im in cali, seattle, new mexico and for a breather: DOMINICAN REPUBLIC! arggggh. i can't wait - i think imma start hyperventilating!

also: something beautiful seems like its panning out well. i was able to get in touch with my people's KOVAS (mr. big time in the UK & Europe) who's famous for his first hit with DeLaSoul and we will knock out a couple of joints! nice

well imma go check email. check out other sites. daydream a lil' and keep smilin' like it's going outta style

brooklyn-bound
m

uhhhh ok

i have so much to talk about -- but im a bit tired. he's home. thats good... gimme a second -- see ya in two and two

live from the bed in bklyn
m

OPERATION: SAVE HIP HOP

one thing. one thing only: GO BUY COMMON'S ALBUM. NOW. that is all

lookin' for buried TREASURE!!!

so i found:
Ntozake Shange's "nappy edges"
Amiri Baraka's "black music"
tish benson's "wild like dat:good stuff smelling strong"
miles marshall lewis' "scars of the soul are why kids where bandages when we don't have bruises"

feelin' like south park's tom/philip combo... quite excited. indeed! just finished puttin' amari to bed. we practiced her lines for her school play "i'm short - can anyone see me?" das her lines. but if anyone knows my baby - you know she is the tallest 7 year old in the world! i swear, she's as tall as a 10 year old! lol so this is definitely a stretch for her baby acting chops! lmao just finished talkin' to my sister from the boro of london (lol). our project is coming together so lovely - i'm scared. it's gonna be a doozy. i promise you... look out - OCTOBER is the launch. tell ya the rest as soon as our publisher is locked down... nahmeeen?! big thangs DUNNY - trust me.

working on a new piece called Love letter to Dam. tell me whatcha think!




If this is what I think it is
How are we to fall even deeper into
Each other with/out
Losing something important

Reaching inside ourselves
maintaining the core of
Our family name
Struggle has tainted our teeth
Eggshell white beige brown
Buried beneath tongue
And breath
I’ve loved you
Since we met
At first kiss – I knew

julius cesar

denzal washington is rocking broadway theatre's with his rendition right NOW. getting tickets. its a rap... officially. started thinking of life. talked to Black, his pops is going thru rough times right now. my prayers are with them. working on this book for our cave canem graduation ceremony. also, tonite's community forum will mark the final class for my women in hip hop -- cross ya fingers and toes. its so hectic i can't think straight! but, i know it'll all be worth it -- the kids in my class are brilliant. the people i've met thru my workshop are incredibly inspiring. and my life has flourished because of it... now, i just have to figure out when to breath and go to the gym... but not in that order. new poems tomorrow... promise

brooklyn transplant

mahogany

my weekend in a couple of words:

movies, dining out on the town, performing in the midst of brooklyn's finest, watchin' amari rock her poem (memorized), spanish harlem's ethnic fair, more dining, shopping, mike's diner for the morning special, late night calls, breathing, smiling, laughing, laughing, loving - sighing, contemplating - now.

ick!

its raining outside! ugllllle

meeting up with my uncle, who is visit'n from cali...checking out a movie with amari like i promised...and catching up on well needed sleep! show tonite at nubian heritage, show tomorrow at Harlem's Ethnic Festival and team practice on sunday. so many movements, i almost forgot my ankle is in recovery - until it reminds me with that intrusive PANG o



damn - i forgot what i was gonna say

beautiful days...

can you see me smiling? i know you can! im so happy right now -- kinda wierd. i usually am waiting for the other shoe to drop (probably still am, but its subconsciously!). had an excruiating day yesterday... i will recount it telegram style:

wake up at 8am stop rush to sheepshead bay stop pass the coffee and head to class stop ambushed by incredible teenagers stop they write poems about running trains in stairwells stop class erupts into laughter stop its my truth stop he says stop leave the class with armor tinged stop still inspired stop rush to manhattan stop perform at the domestic violence workshop at NYU stop mikey buys me coffee stop feeds my meter stop unloads about his women issues stop he deserves better stop hurry to pick up amari stop we head to east new york to cop the swedish documentary stop cant wait to see it stop we smile all the way over williamsburg bridge stop drop amari off with T&W stop work my ankle out at the gyn stop stop catch up with akua and taylor for a grudge slam at brookdale college stop we win stop its crazy fun stop we head back to brooklyn around midnight stop amari has fallen asleep stop akua and i discuss live stop love stop and loss of self stop i climb the 5 flights to my home stop tuck amari into bed stop climb inside covers and cuddle stop stop stop


anywayz... im at the pregnant school in queens. so far so good. i actually have an 1hr and a half break in between my classes. i could go home - but there are nothing but beautiful stores lining the sidewalk waiting for me to come visit. think i will work out a couple of more poems. see where my pen takes me...

live from queens -- headed back to brooklyn

m

untitled 3085

your tongue was stapled to your lip
unable to pass words of
right/write the sun
if you can

caress each page as though your lover
said i do/i will
remind the pulse moving
under your skin

words are built for the afterlife
a scripture/sonnet/sayonce
for the misguided
lesser nurtured pairs

pouring sludge of earth
still, dirt is of the soil
that breathes live from the womb
and potholes

aren't deep enough
to keep
us
down

feel'n good

listening to my new find -- been looking for this damn song forever, it seems

nina simone's "feelin' good" -- i am so in love with this tune, i swear...

amari helped me find this one - which is cool, unfortunately we watched a young man get caught stealing some headphones from the virgin record store - so we had to keep it moving. didn't want him to black out in attempts to get away and we sittin' there - STUCK

have several classes today. one at sheepshead bay, a performance at NYU with mikey and Urban Word crew, a work out with my personal trainer, and i am completing this idea that Patricia Smith has commissioned of me. it's a doozy ya'll. and i am so overwhelmed with ideas and emotions that i can only hope my page doesn't over flow too quickly.

i want to savor these moments.

i am still working on that london collab with my favorite lady poet of england territory. she is having a tough time and i just want her to know i love her. she is such an inspiration. we met through email initially. she read my site and heard the pain in my voice in regards to the lack of poetic influence amongst my peers... even then, she offered her sistership, regardless of color, age and location. i love her for that. lady: know that these days are only meant to test us - call it an endurance test. you are meant for greatness. built for the history books, you are a great inspiration.

so monday. we have our women in hip hip forum. featuring editors of hip hop magazines, writers, radio personalities and video vixens.

MONDAY, MAY 23rd @ 6PM SHARP
WOMEN IN HIP HOP: A community forum
@ Teacher's & Writers
5 Union Square West (7th Floor)
for more info call: Mike Cirelli c/o URBAN WORD
212 691 6951

i have to get out this bed. find some solace in the shower and write a poem about loving him.

glorious!

went to court's graduation. it was very long and beautifully hot. and she looked lovely. now i have to work on my persona poems for class, my additions to the poetry collab for the london joint and my abs... i started the physical therapy with the gym and will be ready for the beach soon enough.

live from brooklyn

m

nasty...

today was just nasty. and ugly. and dirty... thats my day in staten island. they told me it was gutter. but when i had to work with a teacher that loves calling her kids dumb - i flip.

nothing more

m

VAnity & other forms of un-flattery (cave canem edit)

this is the beginning of something miserable
harsh and electric -
shocked by my findings

the hub of your spinning pupils is awesome
taking in light and love and all things you can't obtain

you hide from the truth like the plague
bones narrowed in defense positioned
like prey, rather than the predator you are

without circusmtance a cuckoo with woman veneer
nuts and bolted to the frame of dementia

like clockwork the tick searches for its
other half and you scramble for meaning --
to something that owes you no d e f i n i t i o n

it will remain untarnished after your obsession
has run its course or your life is expired -- whichever comes first

onward...

just got back from team practice in Jerz and my ankle is like an elephants knuckle! arrgh
tuesday is courtenay's graduation from columbia!! yea. j and her are like the wierdest when it comes to arguments... very after school special-ish. leo and sammy as well. beautiful they are together. so endearing and supportive of each other. i envy that brother/sister bond. my brother just punched me around a lot and farted on me. that was our ritual... disgusting - i know, but i guess i the memories are worth it...

mya's dating dame dash.
dame dash is getting a reality show (the ultimate hustler - excuse me while i puke)
and jay-z just dropped a freestyle for the summer called "summer"! nice

gotta work on my class persona poem... cave canem has our graduation performance next tuesday. i cant wait! :)

live from brooklyn (after a 2 hour drive home from JERSEY. damn traffic!)

dammit mannnn!

friday, amari had an audition for her school drama club. she made it! yaaaaa! unfortunately, she asked the basketball coach if she could play (a bit late, i know) but, when he said NO, she started to cry. it was so sad. i wanted to hug her to bits! saturday morning: i was late taking amari to meet with patricia! (sorry piper, sorry pat!) i don't know what i was thinking... maybe i was focused on:

dave chapelle coked out on rehab...

jessica simpson and nick lachay breaking up?!

my ankle swelling up to the size of a pumpkin!

these wierd emails from some lonely characters...

gotta stop thinking about the small stuff... i think that's why i love that book. "Dont sweat the small stuff, it's just small stuff!" great read.

team practice tomorrow... tell you 'bout it later. enjoy your evening out... i know i will

spring cleaning

obviously im a bit late! :( but it's got to be done...
so im giving all the old clothes to salvation army, amari's old toys as well - and im throwing the wack people away too! holla


live from bklyn

i dunnnoooo...

life is so funny. just when you thought you had an idea - it spins around on its axis and kicks ya.
tells you in a grunt "you dont know shyt!" feelin' like the cosmos played a trick on me.
not particuraly worried about the stumbles...just waiting for it all to work out. that's how my life works.
a lot of turbulence and then smooth sailing -- just in case i wanted to take it for granted.
i never do. well. atleast i try not to.

amari has a slumber party this weekend with mikaila and piper and a couple of other young'ns. we look forward to the evening off! hell, we were trying to fly away for the weekend! lol -- think we goin' hold it down brooklyn style. wait for memorial day weekend to feel the sand under our bottoms and sea salt in our nose. yea, that sounds nice.

i owe amari a trip to a rollercoaster park. gonna take her with my neice and nephew during august. when she returns from cali... have to get her back on track before school hits - cause then its the petal to the metal! again///

j and i are recording with poison pen, my lil brother tonite. have something special for his new album the GOON. look out for us poets gone wild -- the AUDIO version! lol until then...

lets meet where it began where it will end when we meet

m

its been a long time...

i shouldnt have left you -- i know... rakim said it best.

these past couple of days have been straight chaos... i apologize for the delayed response. anyone who knows me - knows that i try to keep it daily... but life be happenin' nahmeen?

let's go back, shall we (choreopoem style, of course)...

fri:
i lie in his arms after braiding baby's hair
waiting for clock to ring me farewell
my flight left first thing in the morning
but his hands resisted my absence
i will be back - i whispered... headed to JFK
airport
limped triumphantly to the terminal
and was whisked away like the DIVA i am :)

once i landed in California, 6 hours later
my ankle throbbed with a dull pain
but my heart ached for the air
driving 3 hours to Cal Poly
i was rewarded by hillside pictures and
warm sun massages i pulled into the
hotel lot.
found myself swallowed by thick
cotton sheets and smiled.
performed with buddy wakefield
and found my religion
it was wrapped inside the heart
of this 30-something year young
white man
blue eyes swirling my insecurties like
cotton candy
making them more beautiful for their
flaws
we shared a feast Mark, Jack, Ray and friends
laughed about life
before i was rescued by those welcoming sheets
and his voice in my dreams

sat:
woke up early...damn new york time difference
crunched stomach pains away
ate fruit bowls for breakfast
lounged on patio furniture
admiring green hillsides
like men love back sides
fell down a rabbit hole
tumbled into Cal Poly's leadership conference
and almost forgot to blink
inspired by James' community etnic intiative
(based in my high school hometown!)
viewed seattle's own grad student
break down the architecture of urban planning
and problem with WALMART
before we performed
i made mark cry
then
buddy made me cry...again
a mural exercise colored my need
black and with brown hues and yellow highlight
traced it with orange
stayed there

broke bread with Chanice (new feminist writer & ethnics instructor of cal poly)
shared ice cream (courtesy of james and mark)
laughed over everything in a warm lair
and hugged my new life lines goodbye... for now

sun:
home
finally...
kissed my daughter's sleeping face
tugged at her cheeks with my thumbs
smelled the soap in her hair
thanked god for her greatness

climbed into our bed
smelled the soap on his skin
thanked him with kisses for his greatness
thanked god for him in my life
sealed our night with winks
and laughs
retold the tale of days past
listened to his breathing pattern
pacing is important
i've learned this -- lovingly

mon:
no sleep
none
not really
ok a little
taught a class in brooklyn
another in bedstuy
rocked with slaughter and jive like rock stars
we are just that
get over it
taught another class in the city
topped with fruit stands and long lines
designer stores and rip off boutiques
pulsating with authority

we slam tonite. its the finals for the 13 team
anticipation can be treacherous
just like deception...
5 rounds of full fire
poetry poring out of our pores
and we danced in the light
togther as one...
kissed the heavens for for Carlos' & Jive's
induction into the 2005 team
there is a GOD

so there ya have it... we have spent this morning at the hospital getting my stitches removed. shared breakfast in brooklyn's hottest diner and now, i want to sleep in his arms before the school bell rings///

i believe...

i will inherit the wind... today is beautiful and i haven't even stepped out of my door yet. i will get out. go see the city, maybe catch a movie. get some rest before my trip to CALI tomorrow... i have a show with buddy wakefield (individual world slam champ 2004) - he's incredible! give you the skinny on more shows later.

live from a cloud in brooklyn

my my my...

lil johnny gill for the grown and sexy... :)

i'm so enamored ya'll. life is good. and my grandmother must be working out them angel wings, with GODs blessing of course. i have finished the touches on destroy... and even been blessed with a foreward by the great Patricia Smith. she amazes me on so many levels. the fact she allows her group to bond with her after class over glasses of fruit medley (me), vodka tonic (erika), wine (her), scotch (ed) and martini's (hallie) anything with liquor in the title (roger) astounds me over and over and over again...

stop jocking, you say? yea, whateva! go get inspired and watch how your eyes roll. it's infectious. this happiness. you want some? come see me slam on monday in the Bar 13 Louderarts finals... it's gonna be fun. but i definitely think i will be going with the team i made first, Central NJ. that's wit big mike, kasim, jivepoetic, myself and shadowkat. but i will make myself have fun. samantha ra and i will probably sit back gigglin' like school girls and things will be as it should. special.

my thoughts on who will make the team this year? carlos gomez, roger, tai, rac & mike cirelli... favorites: jivepoetic (of coursee). we'll see. cause if anybody knows the spirit of the slam -- you know that shyt is never a GIVEN!

live from bedstuy (BK for you cats dat don't know)!

m

for my girls headed to college: aja, sasha & hollise 1st Draft

Because it will always be worth it
the struggle hurt & sweat
will make sense, soon enough
You are of warrior silk
Beautiful and brilliant
You are sun smiling through young eyes
a disguise -- your soul has been here before
weather the cold days and new york nights
prepare for the after life
filled with collegiate theories and memories
of words
fallen from revolutionary lips generation -- now
reflective of life
and you will love it
like we love you
the mothers of baby girl’s
birthed with obligation on tongue
and firey spirit
we’ve filled your bellies with
wisdom and strength
nursed dreams of leadership through breast feeding
twisted ideas of an uprising into your curls
pinched cheeks and planted smiles in soil
seeming unfertile
this is your time to build bridges of trust
like grapevines and giants
be bigger than our mistakes
wipe sweat, blood and uncertainty from your brow
know our smiles exist because of you

interview ques for:

wordwoman:
1) do you believe in heaven and hell?
2) where did you grow up and how has that affected your socialization skills?
3) what do you do for a living -- how different is that from what you dreamt of being?
4) what is your biggest pet peeve?
5) name your biggest crush & where are they now?

que:
1) if you could come back in a different era, when and why?
2) the worst poem you ever read/heard & why?
3) top 3 rules you want your daughter to abide by?
4) what are the best and worst things about St. Louis?
5) do you believe in the death penalty?

scatterbrane:
1) what insires you to write?
2) what do you look for in a mate?
3) what is your dream career?
4) who is sun tzu?
5) if you were a woman, what would you fear the most?

know13:
1) what is your biggest fear?
2) who is your favorite writer/poet and why?
3) what is the best revenge?
4) what is more important to you as woman and why?
5) how can a man impress you?

amanda:
1) if you could do anything over again, what would it be?
2) what would you tell r.kelly if you had him tied up in a room?
3) what is your worst characteristic?
4) what writer/poet would you say your style came from?
5) when did you know you were in love with your husband?


rich:
1) what is the mission statement of acentos and how is that important to the poetry community as a whole?
2) what would you consider the body of poetry?
3) when do you know you are in love?
4) if you could marry a poet (dead or alive) which one would it be & why?
5) how do you let go?

the top 5 cities that i should reside...says the survey

>

American Cities That Best Fit You:

60% Atlanta

60% Honolulu

55% Austin

55% Denver

55% New York City

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

interview 4 U

das right. the tables are turned and if you reply to this post with the words "interview me" i will then post 5 questions for your response. fun huh? learned this one on the other blog spot. who's first? i promise, it won't hurt.

live from brooklyn
m

nomet #3 - for the half-wit

angered by your shortcomings, ha ha
sorry the laughter cuts like knives
bruises and scabs still picked at
bloody on hardware floors
dont sob now my sweet
you are still young
nows the time
to find
life

(now read it backwards)

ps - i've read the nomets in response. glad i could inspire you.

still, live from bklyn

me, me, mo me...

what i am reading right now:
smoking lovely by willie perdomo & shake loose my skin by sonia sanchez & some if us did not die by june jordan

what i am listening to:
neighborhoods: olu dara, the jazz singer: eddie jefferson & self titled: saul williams

what i am wearing:
boxers, t-shirt and a soft cast.

what i am working on:
the newest album: something beautiful, a book of poems with a beautiful woman in london and the final edits of the re-revised and revamped book of poems and antecdotes: destroy rebuild and other reconstructions of the human muscle.

what i look forward to:
summer fun. a brief stint touring the states and overseas in october, going to school @ NYU in fall, sex during daybreak, our poetry production @ an off-broadway theatre, and my first pedicure once the cast is completely off!

what annoys me:
stalkers, bad people posing as good poets (arghh), fake revolutionaries (poets again), pedophiles and deadbeat dads.

what motto i live by:
i live by two: the infamous "do unto others..." and my favorite quicker picker upper: "woman is the nigger of the world" by yoko ono.

what i want to change about myself:
my unforgiveness and ability to hold grudges, my greeness/naivete which allows underserving people an opportunity to break my heart.

what i love about myself:
i love hard, play hard, work hard & am loyal

what i dreamt last nite:
i don't remember (smirk)

what i'm feenin' for:
mike's diner. the one place that every artist (struggling and otherwise) has frequented while living/visiting brooklyn.

what i regret:
losing touch with my mother, losing contact with my mag fam, being homeless in nyc (2000), chicago natl's (2003) & london (2004).

what i learned:
the only one who has your best interest at heart is you. don't depend on NO ONE.

where i would move if i left nyc:
i used to think london was my first choice - until i realized they had the same type of seedy individuals that roam the under belly of NYC, so i'm thinking austin, tx. they have the big city activites (which i need) and the southern hospitality that i'm accoustmed to (i.e., consideration factor!)

what is my most extreme story while on tour:
i don't know. there are several. because i named the times i was homeless already (2 of those happened on tour) i will touch a couple of other incidents. 1)while in denver, a promoter was beef'n with another promoter and in turn took it out on me - asking me to PAY a fee just so i could sell my cd's after my performance! 2) when jive and i travled to holland via fleet ship. however, he forgot his passport and got turned away at the border (it was much worse for him). 3) i toured europe non-stop for 31 days. that shyt was hard! i couldn't even remember my name at certain points! it was really bad - the pay was great, but my body definitely paid for that crap. i would have 2 shows and a day full of workshops in ONE DAY. i was so tired, i was missing my coach back to bristol, got stranded in london after a crazy-hot shortman show and almost missed my workshops the next day in bristol. brutal!!!

what is my biggest mistake in this career:
the contract i signed with HBO after featured with the punany poets. they resold that damn segment to 5 other stations and we got 90 bucks after taxes! das dat bullshyt!

what inspires me:
my daughter, my man, my family and certain contemporary poets.

what's my favorite outfit:
anything with a jean jacket and shell toes. cute cut-up shirts and sexy boots.

what's my favorite word:
shadows (this word changes every quarter or so).

what's my biggest secret:
i don't have any... anymore.

what is the biggest lie i ever told:
no grandma, i'm not pregnant.