HIGH SCHOOL ANTICS

it was just like...

high school. i swear. i havent been in that type of atmosphere -- since i last promised myself not to go to another open mic in new york city. this time - it was less bothersome than before. but then, i situated myself away from the loud, abruptness that causes poets egos to collide.

i also guided myself out after around 1020pm, as amari had saxophone class this morning and besides - i had the chance to talk to those important to me. those that fell in love with poetry for the poetry not the light. last nite was one of those nights where everything and everyone was on stage - even if the mic had yet to turn on. the fishbowl effect can have that on people.

make them show out when they think they are being watched. make them perform and holler and gasp and overeact and overeact and twinkle. twinkle like the popular kids did in high school - when most of them were laughed at, ignored and mistreated. now - they are the popular kids. melvin van peebles told me in an interview "if given the chance, the oppressed will follow the steps of its oppressor."

bklyn showers lookin' for a piece of blue sky

STILL OF THE MORNING

IT STARTED

With laundry @ 8 in the morning. I felt so ashamed that i let it pile up like I did - but I'm from California. We had our own washer and dryer -- the tedious 4 flight walk and 6 block walk over never rests well with the ankle (or my laziness).

Today is the start of my writing workshop @ Brownstone Books (www.brownstonebooks.com) please come - it's free dammit!

Got a great feeling about the upcoming events. The Open Mic @ Baggot Inn featuring Eska and UK friends, the Punany & Politics featuring Lamar Hill, Gerren Liles & Slaughter. The book company. I'm telling ya'll I feel like a grown up more and more each day. I have a lot going on in my body though. The White Chocolate Mocha is pressing against my abdomen like WHOA.

And I look forward to Miles Marshall Lewis coming to join me at the Nuyorican to read from his book ...Scars on their Souls... he's coming all the way from Paris (native BoogieDown Bronxster) so I hope he will have gifts.

Still talking to my people's in Japan. Looks like that's the next stop for this artistic takeover

iPod - loves me.

listening to: (for copa)
Luther
Amerie
Aaliyah
Anthony Hamilton
Nina Simone
Floetry
digable planets
Usher
Bhangra
Midnight Soul (1 & 2)
Meshell Ndegeocello
MF Doom
Miri Ben-Ari
Mary J Blige
DangerMouse & Jemini
Mos Def
Jamie Fox
Black Rob
Pitbull
Joss Stone
Norah Jones
Gwen Stefani
Sean Price
Nina Sky
Public Enemy
Musiq
Mariah Carey
Dwele
Busta Rhymes
Ludacris
Goapele
Damien Rice
Black Star

i think that's a good start, eh?

AS PROMISED

the great news...

check out my new publishing group's website. that's right. MY PUBLISHING GROUP
www.penmanshipbooks.com

and lastly...
friday night, i competed in the Nuyorican Poets Cafe Semi-Finals and after the tie and sudden death round: i became the 2nd person to qualify for the 5 person GRAND SLAM. May 12th is the date for the finals.

this feeling i'm having is real crazy - but -- then so is life. Feb 10th is the Baggot Inn & Feb 25th is JAM ON IT @ Chasama. Teaching a performance poetry workshop tomorrow @ Brownstone Books (www.brownstonebooks.com) 630pm - 8pm... come see me

bklyn bombshell

BIG

THINGS

are happening... will let you know what that means first thing in the morning

HIT THE ROAD MO

Providence...Here I Come

Getting my bag together as we speak. Decided not to drive - as Im tired... and it's cheaper.
and i wanna try out my new iPod... what? chilling with jared paul and his crew @ AS220 tonite

will let you know how it goes

bklyn readies for providence

AWWW HELL!

it done' hit da FAN

cave canem summer retreat this year's faulty include

my first and only workshop'n mentor: PATRICIA SMITH
http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s_z/p_smith/about.htm

but also http://www.engl.virginia.edu/faculty/dove.html former US Poet Laureate

and http://www.kwamedawes.com/biography.htm the immaculate author and poet

can u feel that -- i think i just had an orgasm... all the poetry greats -- in one conference for a week 24/7... i dont know if i can handle that.

unfinished series

the unfinished

ok. this is the unfinished series. if you write like me -- you probably got a gang of these things lying around - eh? so give me a lil something... you can choose to share a stanza or the premise or the whole damn LOT!

this one is : not so strange

and i had no idea where it was going and if it was taking me or not. dont even know how i felt about it after it sat there. looking back at me. anyway, let's build my friends. this is also a friends only post - cause i want you as comfortable to share as possible... i mean, once our words hit the air - we are all very naked.

flowers wilting
frost
bitten hands grasping vinegar and rays of sound
the moment we've prepared for
clasped lips and slow breaths
you remind me of tomorrow
dew morning wet lipstick
shimmer glitter sighs
we can't break this any smaller
pieces of infinite measures
where is your heart lover
have you rested it between
wind currents
or am I forgetting my place?

I WANNA BE A ROCKER

rock status:

yea. i think i wanna rock out like whoa... poetically of course

or this could be just another function of too much MTV


das ok -- i'm still a poetry rockstar! ha -- much cooler.

countdown til my girl eska is here from london. she's so dope - it's disgusting.
that said come check us out at BAGGOT INN (NYC's WEST VILLAGE) on FRIDAY
FEB 10th! 8pm sharp.
it's gonna be something beautiful. disgustingly beautiful :)
check my myspace page to see her link and let me know how quickly you fell in love with her too!

bklyn break beats

ADVICE INTERVENTION

ADVICE FOR AN ARTIST

ha. don't ask me. i am still getting ova my own SHYT! lol -- no really, this brother that i haven't seen in almost 2 years, catches me typing away in the coffeeshop and he sits down for a breather. he asks me some question that is still close to my heart: emotional cheating. i'm like -- whoa. you don't wanna ask me that homeboy. Cause my answer ain't sweet...

but we spoke briefly - he poured out his heart. and afterwards, i felt the exact same way i did before the conversation took place. except - not as angry. more sad.

some of my poet friends advocate "polyamory" but i dont think im built for that - though after watching several montell episodes where there aren't fights over MY MAN but discussions about why its easy for them to love 2 and 3 persons at once - i am more openminded to the possibility of someone falling in between the cracks of a relationship and opening themselves to outside affection. even simple intimate conversations (i.e., emotional cheating) - have more of a human face, rather than selfish fangs.

but don't get it twisted - i ain't goin' for dat shyt. all im saying is, "ahhh. i get it. good for you! " and "good luck with that!" cause one thing i know about sharing, someone always wants it back to enjoy all by themselves...

bklyn brew'n

WATERMELON SEEDS

WATERMELON SEEDS

i sux on every level. missed the film forum opening of melvin van peebles How to Eat Watermelon in front of White People (and like it). remember i had the luxury of interviweing mr. van peebles before christmas break -- and if he ain't flyy I aint black.
instead of walking around and elbowing fellow journalists and upscale celebs - i went to see christa perform at the nuyo... which i hadnt had a chance to do since she took over NYC.

i guess that's a good enough reason. especially since i have never EVER witnessed a poet perform the idea of a poem - rather than the actual poem. she's hilarious. and had the audience eating out the palm of her hands! anyway. i guess it looks like i will be going to see that on tuesday, asmy poetry class is postponed while the kids take regents (state) testing... much needed rest. fa real. i've been workshopping my ass to death! but bills are a calling - and mama needs a new pair of shoes (red pumps, preferably!) and then i have passes to see the new sanaa lathan flick where she falls in love with a white man and leaves a fine black man (blair underwood) behind. needless to say, i went to school in sacramento california - just an hour away from the home of the black panther party. and yes - it happens to us (black women) all the time. so i wonder what black men will say when they see the beautiful sanaa lathan (acting, nonetheless) loving a white man? how will they feel?

i read about a report of black women and asian men having the highest percentage of staying single. somehow, these two groups have a hard time marrying outside of their race. which makes a lot of sense. i know a lot of women that refuse (hell, i was there) to date anything but black men. some say its just attraction - i mean, i have a thing for marky mark (see thin skin for my essay forbidden fruit: craving for mark wahlberg) but actually being with someone of a different race, just never happened. but when i speak with black men -- they is no holds barred on the loving. i've heard everything from I WILL DATE ANYBODY to I DATE EVERY COLOR OF THE RAINBOW. and i think that is comindable. im all about freelove. genderless, colorless - love. but i have also witnessed "im getting me a white man cause i want my kids to have good hair" to "i only date lightskinned girls"...

ok. wait. i swear, i didn't get on here to type out a rant... and i'm so sure we had this discussion before, so with that said. i will leave this topic open to you -- i have to look in the archives for the initial conversation.

i have to prepare for my feature tomorrow @ BAR 13 (university and 13th street, NYC). come see me if you got time. 7pm

bklyn out


boondocks report: KIM i watched it again. and i understand what they are trying to say -- but what happens when someone actually repeats "i dont' mean N*** in a bad way" and they aren't black?

100 miles and running

100 MILES n RUNNIN'

i had two classes in one day
hair braiding session
a show this evening

and i still havent picked up tickets for the new JAM ON IT show
checked out the new space for JAM on the OPEN MIC
or ate..

oh yea - no coffee either.

bklyn heldhostage

talkin ish...

talkin to my sis
about angelina jolie
being pregnant...

why we are angry
and invested
in this situation
is beyond me...

cause Live Mik said so

My Life..... My Poem......

My Name: mahogany l. browne

Childhood Ambitions: To be a writer.

First Job: Burger King, WHAT?

Last Purchase: kenji jasper's new memoir: the house on childress street, family guy dvd collection, paper towels and lord of war

Indulgence: starbucks white chocolate mocha w/whipped (low skim milk)

Fondest Memory: hitting the ball to the fence in softball, i think i was in 8th grade... that or performing my first poem (by james weldon johnson) in the 6th grade. oh yea - we won!

Soundtrack: Bill Withers: Use Me or Meshell Ndgecello's Bitter

Wildest Dream: writing my book of whatever at my summer chataeu in Paris

Proudest Moment: amari's birth & when i found out my grandmother was really proud of me

Biggest Challenge: learning the art of solace. raising a woman in this vida loca

Alarm Clock: amari's voice & nickelodeon

Perfect Day: shopping with no foot pain, poetry conversations, laughter & kisses

Favorite Movie: color purple, usual suspects, dirty dancing

Inspiration: life

My Poem: The Mothers by Gwendolyn Brooks

MYSPACE & Other Interactions

MYSPACE & Other Interactions

woke up.
brushed my teeth.
clean the bathroom.
made some cereal. (raisin bran, i'm on that lose 10 pounds kick for this other weight shift)
opened my laptop.
checked my email.
spoonful of raisins in my mouth.
checked my myspace.
1hr later... i'm like damn resolutions!

i have found everyone on there. its so freaky. but its definitely the car wreck that i can't look away from. found old writing comrade Miles Marshall Lewis... or he found me. either way, glad to see he up and moved to PARIS (how jealous am i)? and is writing a montly column about his experiences! the writer's life, huh?

also checking out an oakland native, ms danyel smith. she has a cool blog - though i wish she would update it more - i think it's helpful that she does it every now and again, otherwise - i'd be so addicted i probably wouldnt even get to myspace! lol

relent came thru to the nuyo last nite. i wonder what he thought of the situation - as he left early. his girlfriend tina is so nice. im not sure if NYC is worthy of friendly people sometimes. she had some horror stories which reminded me of my past NYC scares including:

• young man in blue neon car follows me from the train station and asks for my number. it's 3 in the morning so i decline even participating in the conversation. he gets upset. yells "stuck up bitches get raped, ya know" and tosses back "i'll be back" before the car speeds off.
• walking from the movie theatre (alone) after taking myself on a date (what? i do that, YO). just finished watching crash and rize - needless to say, i'm excited. i'm checking my voicemail as i just sat thru 4 hours of movie and know somebody has something to say when i pass a transient smelling like urine and holding a lit cigarette. he is mumbling to himself, but this is NYC - who doesn't mumble to themselves? i'm almost past him when he lurches at me yelling non-distinguishable-ness and pushing his cigarette towards my face - flame first. i flip into oakland mode. try to beat him with my phone, before he scurries away whimpering like I WAS THE ONE that started some shyt.
• first date gone awry. the young man says "you forget i know where you live" when i dont return his call.

the list of events goes on. this is why the fear never subsides. why walking down any street in America is hard for women. why i am raising my daughter to kick pull scream for her breath - because she is a womanchild. she will too have to feel this fear for herself. she will have to know what it feels like to have your pulse quicken at the sound of "psst". you never know if they are just being friendly or are on a time clock ticker of destruction. aim of target: weak woman. helpless woman. strong woman. bytstander, woman. sole woman. woman

i've got to pull myself together. these discussions only pull me deeper into the NOW of what am i going to do when reality comes charging for my daughter's blood. but she will not be sacrificed. i've run fearfully long enough for the both of us.

bklyn stand up

i lost

i lost

7 pounds... wanted to get ready for the surgery that will help me walk normal again. unfortunately -- they just told me that i shouldnt have the surgery cause it will take me another 6 - 8 weeks to walk right -- again...i hate this crap.

though i do love how i fit in jeans an entire size smaller than (ab) normal.

here's to fukd up toes and apple booties...

sometimes u just ...

sometimes you just wanna

sleep. and look at internet. and daydream. i have so much on my plate that im afraid will forget to breath in the meantime. check it:

deposit new venue
create art journal for workshop #1
book guest speaker for workshop #3
mail pkgs to overseas & homr
invoice UW
submit app to PW
check penmanshipbooks.com web development status
wash clothes
ikea trip (again)
put up shelves (feng shui, remember)
book studio time for Feb w/Eska
i-pod set-up
Jam On It sponsorship letters
check in w/editor

gawd. i dont think i will have time to eat, or breath for that matter.

bklyn scheming...

yes, yes ya'll!

this is me on cap n crunch. lol -- im chilling in this cold ass house. amari is eating chinese food and he is sneezing like crazy. bklyn please stand up. this weather is unfit for a queen such as myself.

finaly finished the story that was kicking my behind. classes are going well and i have a couple of features lined up... check the myspace for locations and music.

www.myspace.com/mahoganylbrowne

will be back tomorrow for some insight on control top pantyhouse and the god that is chocolate.

bklyn's chilling...

before i let go...

i've been watching Law and Order since i woke
we are addicted to the marathon...

I AM


tired. no really. i have been running from the bronx to harlem to midtown to bklyn, thru williamsburg back home... finally. to rest. but now im not tired... well - sleepy. had starbucks. which will keep me up. no matter.

have to review tapes and stop watching G I Jane, while J spins 50 cent mixes in the background.

have to find another location for the new open mic we are hosting. i think acoustic. he thinks not. where will our compromise lie -- who knows? he will probably win. that is cool.

we are growing. like my sore ankle and toes. wednesday i go in for prep. very excited about that. i have promised myself a walk in red high heels and by golly. imma get it.

back to the lab. i still have a workshop to facilitate tomorrow morning...

bklyn made a realist...

resolutions

as they stand

internet: only 4 hours (so far)

grudges: none. well. almost none. i've dwindled it down to 1 really good one though

happiness: i smiled for no reason today. then he made me laugh for a couple of hours.

writing: uh oh... yea. still in uh oh mode :(

feng shui: uh oh again. i have several bags of laundry laughing at me.

tv: the wire comes on tonite. we haven't watched the past series -- so now we get to play catch up!


that's all for now...