Wednesday, October 19, 2005

death is amongst us -- like a poem. but not.

so i finally talked to my grandmother.
and the story is fukn disgusting.
and so normal for young black men in my hometown,
to experience a death this brutal.

for jimani...

my cousin is dead. period.
his lifestyle was an occupational hazard.
it says so in the handbook.
unfortunately, there are no rules to follow
when telling his 5 kids that daddy is gone.

and how to we find the words to tell his eldest
son, that was shot as well during this shooting;
who watched his father's body fall filled with lead
and less breath than when he woke up that morning;
how do we tell them?

his wife is a widow.
his son will have to look in the mirror
and study the wound that presented itself
the same day his father departed.

his daughter's will walk wedding aisles without him.
they have red hair, a trait unrecognizable to our family
and adored by him. it was as if they had gold woven thru
their tresses. he is gone. no longer able to give them
piggy back rides. or rap them songs about his dreams
as an artist.

my cousin was an artist. he had the lyrical dexterity of
a great emcee. he was disguised as a hot boy.
caught between doing what everyone thought he
should do - and what he knew best.
he was taken from a family that loved him
before weddings and highschool graduations.
before weddings and grandkids.
before his time...
before this all made sense
before anyone could grab a handle on peace of mind.


chele said...

It's a beautiful tribute and a sad reality. I really enjoy your posts.

my coffee is always said...

My heart and prayers are extended to you and your family... Loved your tribute...

CousinSarah said...

Mo-there really arent words. There is some part of my brain that feels like all this violence in the world isnt necessary and how the hell did we get here. I have said before that I wonder if earth is like a it's own hell--i dont want to get into too much good, but an incredible amount of suffering. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. much love mo..keep you and that baby girl safe....

Shelle said... heart bleeds like the ink from your pen...why is the only word i keep saying...i know we are not to question, but i still ask the question "why?"
your words are so beautiful, i'm sure he is smiling down on you or perhaps right there waiting in the shadows to always be there for you and his family.
my prayers are with you love

Anonymous said...

mo, this was beautiful. i too lost my brother this past week to violence. he was shot several times in while his daughter sat in the back seat ofthe car. he leaves behind three children to ask of his name. we continue to ask "why god" but get no answer. I feel now they ( your cousin and my brother) can do more for us now then they could ever due here.

~Kamilah (camisole)

Mahogany L. Browne said...

kamilah - im terribly sorry for your lost. even though im sure they are most certainly in a better place - the memories of their death will stay with their children are unbearable...