luuccckkky!

received my order of an original pressing of Sylvia Plath's BELL JAR.

also got my bday gift to myself in the mail: a japanese kimono! :)

im too ready to model this one. as soon as the damn ankle is walkable. i've tried to walk with one crutch. no pain. not til i sit down anyway. j dont like it though. gives me the disapproving look that translates to: sit YO AZZ down. so i do.

"but when he ain't looking. i b walking again." (name dat movie!)

we have a salon to attend today. its like a gathering of the artistic minds. a lot of eats, drink and conversations with new york's most elite literary group. louderarts *my nat'l slam alma mater* is hosting this one at lynn's house. where i am scheduled to fry up some fish (catfish to be exact) for the evening. tell you about the results later.

m

ps - animal planet update: they rescued over 200 cats outta this man's house. the most in detroit humane society history!

missing...

showers again. i have a couple of days before i can partake in the drip drop goodness. we've been watching quite alot of animal planet. we bet on who will win the animal face off (i've won 2 out of 3). we sit in awe during the extreme animal countdown. everything from the fastest, to the most athletic, to the most deadly. informative, it is. and it makes me feel at one with nature - no bull. but i still miss showers, even though -- you can't go wrong with a distracting sponge bath...

the weak one

i couldn't save him if i wanted to
from your venomous strike
its his will
his will to turn away
stone faced grins
are easy to ignore
wait for his bite
if you must
there are no queries here
no mistaken identity
your face is the same
no
mat ter
the change of your name
we see you for who you are have been being
dim by your own despair
divulging evidence of desparation
sing songs with strings attached
those too will be cut
from trees of obligation
lack of humanity
is
not
negative
when you rest at the bottom of the food chain

9 liner... nomet #2

he wont wake up and its time to go
a new house awaits us smiling
MTV is still playing
the cats are still shyt'n
ankle is throbbing
four flights plus one
to conquer
lose weight
now

(and read it both ways. from the bottom up and top to bottom... this was quite fun. your turn!)

early rising...

i have to sleep in shifts for the next week. that's how this freek'n medication process works. good news! we go check out an apartment today! yeaaa! the space is needed and the change of "scenery" is needed. it's a two family brownstone - which is the type of living privacy im used to. dammit!

im watching this damn MTV show NEXT. this crap is crazy?! it's like a dating show with 5 different replacements. lol very rude

i have finished up the new lineup for my book destroy. im glad i held the production of it. this writing workshop has been immensely helpful. i look forward to attending the week long summer retreat next year! i hear its like writing camp. and there are parties but at a certain time - all you see are computer lights and light tapping. my type of experience! and i've been trying to talk our writing instructor into continuing the meetings after the june date. like our group is so incredible - shall i break it down for you until it is forever broken? (movie: love jones, catch up DAMMIT!)

patricia: writing experience is fuk'n phenomenal. she is the only person (man or woman) to win the individual national slam 4 times. ever. she is a mother and incredibly consistent with her writing. her writing is unparellel and her presence is assuring for an upcoming writer.

ed - he is the printer of our group! very nice, supportive and cool as hell. he writes an incredible persona on page. his unexpected guest piece is crazy! even though he has a day job (that's what i say about cool writers) - he has a heart that pumps for this poetry. you can tell. just by listening to him talk about the poems he prints out for his classmates. he really internalizes it all before speaking on it.

sienna - she's a quiet one. i had never heard a poem so freek'n historic and compelling at the same time! it was like, i read her conversations poem and it made me want to go to library and find out what the hell went on! she had some crazy ish that she went thru during class and my heart felt for her. she's an artist first and it resonates with each breath.

erika - an incredible writer. i think she's a teacher - it's funny. she looks so young! i swear, i dont remember anything but crusted up teachers when i was a young'n! lol her smart woman poem is my absolute favorite run on, tangent-like piece. she used the devicce well. she's relocating (booo) to chicago. but we will be there during the same time in june - so imma try to get her to the stage and see if she will rock my favorite piece. you never know - could be the birth of a star!

nicole - i met nicole awhile back. she replaced my favorite grant provider (tricia). and she did an incredible job! but this was the first time i heard her poetry. and i am sure - this systa is ready for the revolution! you should hear her conversations piece! hilarious! she's also very nice.

hallie - the yale girl! our birthday's are like 5 days apart and she is to funny for words. the first poem she came to class with blew everyone away! the title was the clincher... and she's already very willing to get to the critique part, which is helpful, considering as writers it can be a bit hard to step on someone's poem with red toothed pen. but she does it graciously.

roger - the same dude that edited so many of my poems. he's my unofficial mentor. hell, my mentor in life. his life theories kill me, but give me such an understanding to the mind set of men. i ain't goin' blow his spot up! LOL he's the only male poet i know that makes other male poets quiver. while he thinks he's the prettiest dude (sike) his performance and writing are parallel in greatness.

camara - i miss her. she is away in jamaica - handling business. and i send her my best wishes! her writing is incredible man. and she has the accent which makes everything sound so regal. and factual! lol she's also a mother and a survivor! she blew everyone's mind when she said she never read her poems in public. they were better than most people that i heard.

rashida - she has an incredible soul. it pours on the page. her voice is sooo comfortable. and she has a son - you know mothers unite! lol she had an increible prose she write the other week. and she is always very nice. not fake nice either. you know that chump ass shyt females do when trying to figure out if you are better (i.e.,looks better, writes better, dances better, has a man that's better than mine). she's like: peace sis. how are you? loved your work. can you give me some tips! real down home. i love her!


that said. im going to go check out the house now. and come back and get this expedition to dominican republic geared and ready to go. it's gonna be fun and sexy. besides, it's long overdue! it seems like i have been through hell this past quarter! but i know im blessed. my daughter is healthy and smart and happy (when she is running the house, of course). my creativity is sailing at an all-time high, partly because of the people listed above and i can smell the colors in his words.

live from BKLYN

death becomes HeR

don’t know why i cant speak it
wont let its name form on my tongue
swirl in my spit
not ready to think of the lights
the darkness
the silence

not
now

too many dreams to fulfill
novels to write
plots to fill
of dirt and disorder
buried around my skull
after breath has slowed
then stopped

no

i don’t want to ponder
my legacy
hemorrhaging faith
swallowing hope
accepting my death as defeat

now

studied in books
forums and
under attended memorials
respect never received
as i blinked and breathed

groggy...

the medication they gave me isnt so bad. not so bad. it took less than an hour for the removal of the screw. that bytch was like DISSSSSSSSS BIG! and i gotta be honest. i wasn't looking forward to the recovering room. the last time, the chick was crazy mean to me, they wouldnt feed me even though i hadnt eaten in almost 26 hours and left me with two slosshy jello cups. when j came to check on me - i told him what happened and he went off. the women said NO, we didnt mistreat you. nu uh. got all nice when his azz came in there. so i wasn't looking forward to her grunting some payback on my sickly ass. however, this time - i had ms marilyn (who i confided in about the drama the last time) and jo jo (who was extra nice so he could get the flowers i promised marilyn). overall - it was an awesome experience.
however, i was so lucky to witness a couple of surgeons and their nurses say the damndest things.

1) im so tired.
2) this is my first time
3) which leg are we operating?

uh, duke. you should already know that SHYT. don't let me have an ich in my good leg - you take that as a sign of confirmation and then go to cutting at it! and my anesthist (sp?) was hilarious. telling me everyone's bizness. she said, imma give you something that will make you have nice dreams. some people talk in their sedation. i was like - HEY. i dont want that! never know what truth might slip from my mouth! lol j laughed and said "what are you hiding ma?" too slow to respond with wit i let him have that one. tskkkk. now, i have another one of these surgeries which puts my london trip on hiatus. again.

god's trynna tell you something

remember that song? that's what i hear in my head when i try to do things repeatedly and it just doesn't come to fruition. sorry sammy. she made me promise to come back to lonDUN despite my disgust for its unsavory bitz. the doc stepped in again, lady... i will be there in october - i swear.

god's trynna tell you something

dreamt of my grandma, coco. it was wierd. we were having some sort of house party and a man loitering the front of my "establishment" was loud and trynna talk to me. then i went back into the house (?) and it was standing room only. they asked me to fix some divider and i did. before i looked in the corner and there she sat - healthy as ever. i ran to her and gave her a kiss and hug and said we must have lunch soon. she loved dining out. she nodded, i think, then i woke up. scared. i didnt know what the dream meant (send your synopsis please) but it felt too real to deny.

maybe god...

and as you would have it. my writing group the nite before had an assignment. that's write. write a poem on your death bed. sonuva! can't get away from this crap! so i posted it above. let me know what you think... talk to ya'll tomorrow/today. as it is 2am brooklyn time. and i am waiting for j to get back from the bodega with our late-nite snacks.

live from brooklyn
love hip hop (thx eliel)

wlk lk

prowess
she wlks lk god
flat ft over water

OPERATION DoomsDay

been at the hospital
prep'n for the surgery tomorrow
blood work
running back and forth on crutches
torture...but it's half over

had class tonite. it was wonderous. my classmates
are so cool
and thoughtful and intelligent
it's scary! they make me want to learn more
and the editing process isn't as bad as
i thought (anymore!) LOL

had class yesterday.
very dope session with my girls.
will share more of that later.

made it to the Bar 13 Team finals, by .10 of a point - i think...
feeling really inspired
and my pores are poppin' with ideas
and i want to try to make this work...

this life i've created
this is where it all begins

big show coming up on May 22nd.
jive and i put together an incredible lineup
at the PRODUCER's CLUB,
AN OFF BROADWAY POETRY PRODUCTION

that's right. we headed to the top kid...
get it right! time to take ova the world.
its only fair that i warn you... im takin'
no PRISONERS. none.

URBAN WORD WINS!

one of my favorite students AJA and her team (URBAN WORD) won the YOUTH NATIONAL POETRY SLAM. i am soooo proud of her. and i heard hollise was walking around with a crew trailing her and everything! i swear ya'll, they are such incredible DIVAs. im so happy they are the generation that will make up for all our mistakes. congrats my lovelies!

brooklynized...

m

the trenches or many faces of wackness

i have a show at a girl's group home. this is where they send the girls sentenced to jail instead. really great bunch of young ladies (i saw them last month). unfortunately, the woman in charge - is crazy wierd. i don't get her. its like she don't even believe in the kids. a wack thing to notice while you are there to tell these souls that this mistake isn't the rest of their life. they can make a difference if they just change their path. i told her last month "you have some real thinkers here" and they really are incredible. the poems they wrote personifying handcuffs were gut-wrenching... sad, intense and real. they lived through the fire and put it on the page. i told the "warden" of their genuis and she acted as if i were talking of aliens. real wack. so, im headed back there. i mean, jus cause she's wack don't mean these young girls should suffer - even more. flub dat!

schedule of events

alot of things have happened within the last 24 hours. good things - but trying nonetheless. here is my schedule for the next 3 months... i didn't put in my vacation days - cause i ain't one to gloat. however. if you wanna know so bad (nosey) email me and i will send you an invite!

live from brooklyn,

m

april
23 - RAHYWAY Youth Slam, NJ
25 - BAR 13 National Slam Semi's, NYC

may
12 - 14 WORD UP POETRY FESTIVAL, VA
22 - WORD 4 WORD, NYC

june
9 - 11 SOUTHERN FRIED REGIONALS, NC
17 - 21 RUSTBELT REGIONALS, MN
23 - 100 SLAM, UK
26 - POETRY N MOTION, UK

july
6 - CHERRY JAM, UK
15 - NUBIAN HERITAGE, NYC
23 - DENVER ART FESTIVAL, CO
24 - DENVER SLAM, CO
27 - POET AS MUSE, CO
29 - CAFE NUBA, CO

made of plath

I shall never get you put together entirely,
Pieced, glued, and properly jointed.

you are chipped, stained and ungodly-like
all the things that i hold dear

and despise at the same time
messy and incomplete

your parts of beauty are what keeps me near.
sustains my need for something more

i breath you in and wait for it all to make sense
you never do.

The sun rises under the pillar of your tongue.
My hours are married to shadow.

you laugh at this
joke easily of painstaking

jabs at my heart
the finish line is haunting.

ghostly figures chat with devils
i too will find my place at the atlar.

debate whether your tongue swimming in a vinegar jar
was worth it, after all.

dis right here!

is a nomet. erected after reading an example from blackestsheep in my LJ community... i liked the idea, so i tried one... it was harder than i expected. give it a try and post it so i can gush over your creativity!

9 lines:
1st line: 9 syllabels
2nd line: 8 syllabels
3rd line: 7 syllabels

and so on and so forth until the last line and last syllabel. here is try...

k:iss
there are no moments that match this one
two times we've met by chance pure luck
charming eyes and tongue rescue
my ideas drown inside
shivers electric
tryst between teeth
under moans
low pitch
perfect

affirmative action poetry slam

a bit of a controversy in des parts. something that i wasn't ready to address, until i finished figuring out somethings for myself. after lengthy conversations with jive that panned out over several months. i think i have a grasp on how i feel about this poetry slam affirmative action business. this year, AIPF put in place a slam that would honor two winners: one woman and one man. this was due to several things, most importantly: after 13 annual festivals, there has yet to be a woman slam winner.

the best thing they did to assure there was a fair playing ground for the both women and men, was to keep the sex of the slammers balanced (i.e., 8 women & 8 men). however, they took it a bit further. and in their need to make things equal, i think we may have done a disservice to women poets everywhere. the top woman poet was AKUA, this year. the top man poet was Joaquin. it's funny. in the past 4 years of my going - i have ranked in the top 3 finalists, atleast 3 times. which means, though we haven't had a women winner (yet) we are on our way and don't need any favors. this year. there were TWO women in the final four (akua and myself). and after looking at the situation - i realized we don't need charity.

i encourage AIPF to continue having balanced slams with an equal number of men and women participants. but suggest they let the wittest slam poet win, whether it be man or woman. because honestly, the sexism that underlines this sincere gesture only says that WOMAN AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH CREATIVELY, LYRICALLY, OR POETRICALLY TO GO TOE TO TOE WITH MEN. this is a strong statement, especially after the National Poetry Slam Individuals Champ has only been acquired more than once (count it 4 times) by a WOMAN. a BLACK WOMAN (ms. patricia smith) and no MAN has been able to match her strides - almost a decade later.

so i thank you AIPF for the support of your women poets, but truly feel - the best way to support us, is to assure the playing field is level throughout. and that means 1 winner -- whether women take home the 1st prize is only up to chance. i mean, hell. it's a poetry slam.

(this was solely inspired by jive. thanks for being a feminist even when you didn't know it)

shhh...

it's my birthday

:)

haiku #0178 (inspired by women in hip hop class)

she got too much mouth
said he to he last week
her wombs says otherwise

justin timberlake vs usher raymond

ever watch justin timberlake strut around like usher raymond? i mean, we know they are both trynna replace Mike Jackson and be the new king of pop (usher has successfully done this for me -- check the abs in make me wanna)... i remember the young 14 year old rockin' timbs while riding on the hood of the car as devante (former jodeci star) swerved down a winding road... he was a baby then - but was singing bout thangs that made me blush. now, he rocks a glove during his concert recorded in puerto rico, moonwalks sideways (really that's all it is) and keeps the women screaming (present company, ahem, not included). but really. he has become an incredible entertainer.

but i can't help but be a bit mad at mr. timberlake (aka leave janet jackson out to dry after HE ripped off the boobie cloth). first he has no gumption when giving up the goods on taking ms. britney spears' virginity (a true gentleman closes his DAMN PIE HOLE and be thankful he's getting any!) and then he bounces on N'Sync to start a solo career. now i LOVED cry me a river. fa real -- wasn't even mad that it looked like ole' Brit dog... however, the song "senorita" geared towards the latinas - was as tasteless as stretchmarks at a strip club. i mean, i got some but i stay'z in my lane, homie. now this song -- preaching in a high screech tone (u know how he do) was cool - until he said something about "don't let him take yo crown" as he slapped said crown holder on the ASS!? huh

so once he dissed my girl ms. jackson (cause im nasty) and usher called him out (don't say my name and his in the same sentence) -- i can't help but shake my head and turn the channel when his cameo appearance on snoop dogg's video rolls across my tv screen.

what more can i say!?

austin was and is beautiful... life was hectic ova der! the festival was a bit err different this year. but dont let me jump ahead. i'll start from the beginning!

wed: j and i head to the airport. i had my first WHEELCHAIR ride, courtesy of this damn cast & might i say -- i was pretty much feelin' myself! oh no! not only did they push me around in that lil' piece of steel and vinyl heaven - but, we passed ALL OF THE SECURITY LINES! and what a day to do it. they were wrapped around the corner like jive's groupies! (sorry i couldn't help it!) and we were off to make the boarding! first on the plane, nice... had a nice nap all the way to texas, where reggie met us and sped us to firebirds. a nice burrito shack (understatement, trust me) and we filled on chicken and steak MONSTER burritos. i should've taken a picture of the damn thing -- it was crazy big -- like my butt! whoa!
next we headed to Ivanho's house (former poet present singer). we watched movies while J snored on the floor like a damn geezer and i watched leguizamo in a riveting role in King of The Jungle... Rosie Perez, Anabella Sciorrie and my boy Michael Rapaport was in it -- if you wanna know that story email me! we later went to feature at Neo Soul at Club Sahara and it was a nice warm and receptive crowd. one thing cant nobody tell me about is the hospitality and support you get from AUSTIN... there are one or two fake ass mutha-sucka's in the bunch, but that's life homie. Kim, my sista from another mutha was hosting with our B-Fran the man that can throw the hottest impromptu poetry party (worldwide). watched their youth slam team get down, a gang of poets -- left and got some jack in the crack (two cheesecakes, please!) and headed to B's crib...

thurs: reggie came and swooped us to registration where we looked at each other and wondered why the hell we were awwake so damn EARLY. touring artists KNOW: jetlag is so SINCEREEEEE. i tried to OD on coffee, before KIM looked out and took me to get some starbucks (i cant do that organic ish) where i partook in the White Mocha GOODNESS, one for me and one for my girl amanda! yea, i met her mom. she is so cute. we sat in a circle, agnes (my favorite UK' WOMAN POET), nii, amanda johnston (the martha stewart impersonator!), jive (who?), thomas, tim gibbard (flyest dude in the tallest shoes), mike (freebie jukebox poet) and everybody else that walked up to our COOL table and said HEY! amanda placed first in the anthology reading (go girl) and we laughed hard until rescued Jive and I. we went to dinner at LOGANS. a place where they throw peanuts on the floor -- i'm thinking "I got more home training than this!" but i tried and threw one shell on the floor just for the thrill of it! unfortunately, our waitress was a bit too popular, because the dudes next to us, tossed a peanut at her. it ricocheted off her shoulder and hit the Jive in the knee -- he then finds his NEW YORK STATE OF MIND and offers these young men a taste of his fists. subtly of course. they say, "dude, it's cool. sorry" but continue talking shyt under their breath. Kim overhears the chaos and loses her freakin' mind. she gets the manager -- who is of little help, as far as they are concerned, and then requests the regional manager's information. after this little interrogation homeboy is shivering and the fella's apologize again before finding the exit. i look at my salad - sure they are spitting in my plate of steak and catfish as we speak before asking the waitress to cancel the order. sure we will just have to snack on muffins from the coffeeshop where we will perform at in 30 minutes, but Kim insists. says they wont do nothing "or else" and we eat the food that miraculously finds its way to our table. the show that evening... dulls from the shine of this one - so flub it.

friday: we have a radio interview with reggie to promote the mitchie's show and a slam that evening. jive is the feature, since he's the winner of last year's title -- so it's up to me to do my thug thizzle. first prize (man and woman highest ranking receive) three hunnet and fiddy dollas... taalam is also the feature (as he and jive tied) so the opening raises the bar of poetry by a freeekn mile! i aint mad though. relentless takes care of me - pure southern hospitality. mike henry, videographer of the upcoming flick "SLAM PLANET" and austin slammaster (i think) hosts the jumpoff and joaquin and akua take first, me second and tito from corpus cripus takes 3rd... nice afterwards, we make our way to waterloo for chicken wings, cramping our bodies into Mike Guinn's mustang (baller) just to be greeted with an "KITCHEN CLOSED" sign! boooooo taalam then suggests Baby A's a spot with great drinks and questionable food... too bad we found out after all 15 of us were seated. Akua, Izm Dark & King Savior (phoenix), Vocab, Joe, Jamela (Aqua's peoplez) and several others sat with Jive, Mike and myself feenin' for chips and salsa. akua and i got buck -- i can't front. i could've lit a match with that hotazz stuff. but i was starving - so hell! jive's plate of food was purely DISGUSTING. so we returned that. paid the bill and found our way back to B-Fran's crib.

sat: i don't wanna wake up. neither did j. but we had several shows, including my favorite MITCHIEs. Reggie was picking us up to drop us off. but i wasnt feeln that so much. so i acted like a diva. stayed in my PJ's and talked to KA and B downstairs while Tweet cooked breakfast. Jo, B's wife to be, hooked up the starbucks after giving me some really cute coffee-like capuccino! i love her. she has the best love poems. i call her the julia roberts of poetry... ya know, you fall in love when listening to her poems and really want her to fall in love too (i.e., pretty woman: ho meets trick -- fall in love, pleez. my best friend's wedding: friend wants to take friend from fiancee, dammit ho! fall in love pleez! and mona lisa's smile: teacher teaches ladies not to just be a ho, but falls out of love in the process DAMMIT!). anyway - we eat beef sausages, and Tweet (a man that had a heart attack on thursday and recovered by saturday) offers to cook a brisket for our going away dinner. this is when B-Fran promises a poetic after party to close out the festival. did you hear that? i think i heard the angels singing! laaaaaaaaaa
we eat, head to our designated features, jive at the coffeeshop and me at mitchies (all day) for the next 8 hours. that's right people. poetry ALL DAY! the first reading was real light (less than 20 people) but i met some nice ladies from Panama and a new poet (as of the night before after being inspired by the slam). the next reading, J and Jo show up with her son Youngstar (a powerhouse) and her lil' momma AUBREY! das my girl we played UH OH for about 30 minutes...i swear
the urban slam then pops off and we have over 20 poets hit the mic. Joe kills it with SPRUNG, Jive rips it with Once Upon A Date Rape, Vocab and Sassy have an incredible group piece and several other honorable mentions -- but did you hear me say over 20 poets? damn.

right after that -- we have another showcase called the urban showcase as a part of the festival and taalam, jive, KA, Knowtorius 13, Izm, myself, Mike Guinn and Youngstar. we did it like a theatrical production and it was phenomenal. an outstanding way to end the festival - i must say! we had a poetry auction (which was so fun) and it was between god's gift and a systa i nicknamed "camisole" (because of her shirt!) and afterwards we cleaned up. i shopped: scoring a book entitled the american directory of uncle tom's. joyce gave amari two books and two beautiful picture frames for her christmas photoz, before we headed to B's for the poetry party. there we were greeted with dominoes, spades, chess, pool and boisterous laughter. the brisket was BANGIN', the macaroni salad was DOPE - B was stressing and i was taking advantage of the moment! relentless and i shared the dominoes table but lost by a full house. i just found a seat to devour the remainder of my cheesecake, took pictures (will put em up soon) and laughed until my stomach hurt. taalam made jokes on the sly. KA let me make fun of him, alot! and at 1am, we stopped all other activity and commenced to having our OWN DAMN POETRY SHOW! didn't chu hear me when i said HEY? for the next 3 hours, we heard poetry from everyone in the room (as they were all poets) and i didn't go to sleep until near 4am.

less than 4 hours later, reggie takes J, and I to the airport... where we will sleep on an over-filled aircraft with memories of the best poetry community in the country. word up

bak n bklyn

outside...

im sitting on nii's laptop -- sitting outside of ruta maya's with my cast elevated. talking to akua, jive, ivanho, nii and madalyhatter. this is what poetry is about. the sun is kissing me with hot fresh lips. i have so much to tell you. give me sunday and i will give my world.

look back for the day by day description...


live from austin (by way of cali via brooklyn)