talking to a fellow poet yesterday. he says he's miserable. says it helps his art. i agreed wholeheartedly. why when we as artists are in an emotional rut are the best masterpieces created?
while i was watching the L Word, i was fascinated (& disgusted) by a chatacter who was a writer and had a great boyfriend and had crazy writers block. but as soon as she starts cheating on him -- she writes her first story with ease. she thrives during this emotionally bankruptcy and i understood. i had witnessed the same thing happen to other artists. artists who didn't have the guts to go for what they needed or hell, maybe they didn't know what they needed. but, to distract them from the real issue at hand -- they reached into pandora's box and waited for a creative miracle. they needed some havoc so that their artform could soar. scary isn't it. to know that people instigate and provoke drama for the sake of their creative oats!?
so, we talked about being happy & how boring it was. when i realized - no one wants to be happy. happy poems don't move people. i think that is a functin of people not knowing how to be happy. some of us think for IT to be right we have to hear the music sound as prince charming rides up on a horse with an engagement ring a 501k plan and size 13 shoe. or some of us are waiting for the woman of dreams to walk into our life arms opened wide, with a beer in one hand and lingerie in the other, balancing a physics book on her pretty head with a cinched waist and masking tape over her smile. these are almost the most unattainable characters known to humankind.
point is, i think we like the pain. the not knowing. the adrenaline rush. the stomach aches or butterflies (same difference) the sweat. the anxiety -- it makes you think you are REALLY alive (thx the maxx) and all of that is seductive and very addictive. we think sitting in a house with a person who doesn't move our insides like the movies pretty woman or love jones, is just a rut. a state of stagnancy. pure pergatory.
in the L word, they accused the writer in the woman of looking for drama so that she could finally feel something worth writing about. i challenged my fellow poet - forget misery. learn how to be happy. its much healthier in the long run.