Tuesday, June 28, 2005

how stella lost her damn groove!

so, i can't lie. i love angela bassett but i hated that damn movie "how stella got her groove back". but i didn't hate the movie enough to wish this on the sista. read the story below.

In a tale rich in lost love, closeted secrets and acrimonious divorce, it
turns out that famed local writer Terry McMillan -- whose celebrated romance
and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of
her fictionized best-seller "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" --
actually got her groove back with a man who now says he's gay.
The story is spilling out in made-for-Hollywood detail in Contra Costa
County Superior Court, where McMillan has filed for divorce from her
Jamaican- born husband of six years, Jonathan Plummer.
McMillan, 53, said in court documents that the marriage was based on a
"fraud'' because Plummer lied about his sexual orientation -- and married
her only to gain U.S. citizenship.
"It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the
world as life-affirming and built on mutual love was actually based on
deceit,'' she wrote in her declaration. "I was humiliated."
Plummer, 30, countered in court papers of his own that McMillan has turned
on him with a "homophobic'' vengeance and is trying to force his return to
an uncertain future in Jamaica. He wants to void the couple's prenuptial
agreement that would keep from him most of the millions she's earned as a
writer.
He also claims he was denied his full share of royalties, as spelled out in
the prenup, from "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," the fictionalized account
of a single mother's torrid relationship with a Jamaican young enough to be
her son that very much parallels the lives of McMillan and Plummer.
Plummer's attorney, Dolores Sargent, said her client has no interest in
embarrassing McMillan or extorting money from her.
"All I want to do is settle the case in a way that's fair to both parties
... and that allows Jonathan sufficient funds to re-establish himself,''
Sargent said. "And we have been blocked.''
In court papers, however, McMillan leaves little doubt that she believes
Plummer was always motivated by money.
"Jonathan has manipulated me from the very beginning in his scheme to come
to the United States, become a citizen and get rich through someone else's
effort,'' McMillan wrote in one of her filings.
In fact, McMillan says Plummer zeroed in on her precisely because of her
celebrity status as an author whose earlier books included "Waiting to
Exhale, '' which sold some 4 million copies and was made into a movie.
In an interview, Plummer insisted that he didn't know he was gay when he met
McMillan in June 1995 at a Jamaican resort. Nor, he says, did he seize on
the author's fame.
"I was a 20-year-old kid when I met her and had no idea that she was anybody
other than an attractive, older woman,'' he said in court papers.
For her part, McMillan, who was then 42, said she worried when she first met
Plummer that he was interested only in her money. "But Jonathan was very
charming and made me believe that he was crazy about me,'' she told the
court.
The two eventually married in Maui on Sept. 8, 1998 -- but not before
Plummer signed a prenup that waived his rights to everything should they
ever part, including "temporary and permanent spousal support and attorney's
fees, '' according to court papers filed by McMillan.
The couple settled in McMillan's $4 million Danville home and, at least
according to Plummer, enjoyed a happy life -- until the last few years when
the marriage started coming undone.
"He became less attentive, less charming, more distracted and absent from
the home,'' McMillan wrote in her declaration.
Plummer said he was spending long hours with a dog-grooming business in
Danville that McMillan had set up for him a couple of years ago in apparent
anticipation of a split.
It wasn't until just before last Christmas, Plummer says, that the two
finally split -- after he revealed he was gay.
"I was kicked out of the house in December right after I told her,'' he said
in the interview.
In court records, however, McMillan says Plummer confessed to being gay only
after she confronted him about all his hours of phone calls to a male friend
living in Jamaica. She also says she later learned that Plummer was
participating in online gay chat sites.
In any event, judging from the court filings, the disclosure quickly turned
ugly. McMillan obtained a restraining order to keep Plummer from their
house, and she claimed she recently discovered that Plummer had embezzled at
least $200,000 from her bank accounts before and during their marriage. (He
admits in court papers "a gross error of judgment" in taking $62,000 without
her knowledge, but said that he was financially dependent on her during the
marriage and that he intends to pay it back.)
Plummer obtained his own restraining order against the author, alleging that
McMillan constantly harassed him for coming out of the closet, and at one
point walked into his dog-grooming business and tossed a ceramic object
across the room.
"She kept calling me, saying nasty things about me being gay, calling me a
fag,'' Plummer said in an interview.
In a Jan. 14 letter written by McMillan and filed with the court, the author
told Plummer, "The reason you're going to make a great fag is that most of
you guys are just like dogs anyway. ... You do whatever with whomever
pleases you and don't seem to care about the consequences."
Plummer also says McMillan came into the dog-grooming shop and left him a
bottle of Jamaican hot pepper sauce on which she wrote, "Fag Juice Burn Baby
Burn,'' and that she also scrawled "Jonathan's Fag boyfriend Fag'' on a
photo of a friend.
"She is an extremely angry woman who is homophobic and is lashing out at me
because I have learned I am gay,'' Plummer declared in a court filing last
month.
McMillan's attorney, Jill Hersh -- a divorce lawyer who has handled civil
rights cases involving gay couples and their children -- says her client "is
anything but homophobic.''
"However, she feels betrayed and disappointed ... that her husband is gay,
'' Hersh said. "And anything you have seen in the pleadings emanates from
how she is experiencing the end of her marriage, and it doesn't have to do
with anything else.''
Hersh also disputes Plummer's contention that McMillan was seeking an
annulment as a way to get him deported, as he alleges. In pressing her claim
of fraud, however, McMillan told the court that Plummer waited to tell her
he was gay until he knew his application for citizenship was going to be
approved.
Plummer says he understands that McMillan felt betrayed by his coming out.
"But I was being truthful to myself, and didn't want to hurt her anymore,''
he said.
On June 17, a Superior Court judge handed Plummer a minor victory --
ordering McMillan to pay him $2,000 a month in spousal support, plus $25,000
in attorney's fees -- until a full trial on the validity of the prenuptial
agreement and the annulment request is heard in October.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well that's karma, baby...all the nastiness that was flung (at American black men) when the book took off. Would never buy her books or pay to see movies based on her books and maybe she did not deserve this but I am laughing my ass off about it anyway.

Mahogany L. Browne said...

you are evil... lmao

Anonymous said...

I'm being honest about it. I can support a lot of view points but I can never support one that tells me that I do not exist...namely a good black man. I watched so many sisters get twisted into stupidity because of a book. I watched 2 sisters dog men who they taught were cheating but were not. One was shopping for a ring and when he told her she just went damn crazy, swinging at the man. The other took dance lessons so he could be the black Fred Astaire for company formal event, sister dumped him even though he broke out the kneepads and dated receipts for the lessons. It was cool, he later dated and married a woman he met at a dance class outing, he is very happy now. But nonsense from a book lead to the breakup of a relationship he sacrificed for to a woman he saw himself marrying. I'm not evil, I just think that Terry "done down low" McMillan reaped what she sowed. I support her right to her at time venomous viewpoint but I will not subscribe to it when it leads to the destructive behavior currently on display in Black male & Black female relationships. A levelheaded female friend of mine even lamented to foolish behavior of sisters running brothers off with nonsense and games. I just want people to stop trying to top other folks' drama and start looking deeper into things. Find out who you are, love yourself and then find someone who will nuture and respect who you are as they learn to love you...it does not have to be so hard.

Mahogany L. Browne said...

i can dig that... good black men are an asset -- and i don't pity the women that run them off for the fun of it (i.e., he's too nice or he's not the exact prototype, etc). however -- the story that terry mcmillan was not that far fetched. there are men like that in the world. she also wrote about women with little to nile morals (see: mama). then she played on both genders in disappearing acts. i personally, did not like anything about stella's groove... but i appreciate her voice. we need more than ONE voice. and i don't think she crucified black men - i think she just told one story... however, i guess as a woman - i have the same feelings when watching any number of music videos and watching gratutious booty shots and ho references.

Anonymous said...

I agree that as a culture our depiction of women in music video provides negative reinforcement in our community that is reflected in how many brothers choose to treat the women in their lives. Unfortunately, some women are all to willing to accept this treatment for varying reasons. The fault more often than not lies with the absentee fathers or the very present poor father figures who often mistreat the women around them. If this is to change, Black men need to turn off the cool and turn on the school when dealing with the behavior of their children, stepchildren, relatives and even the shorties on the street because whatever they see you do forms a frame of reference for how they should act in similar circumstances. As a community we need to deal with our kids and stop letting them be educated by everybody else. Black parents are the first teachers Black children see and we each form the basis of a child's approach to life and its accompanying issues. Of course, I cannot blame any of this one Terry McMillan, I guess I was disappointed that she did not figure out how to look deeper into the American brother bin for her match (who was probably some obscure secondary or university lecturer). I guess we all lament our missed opportunities but Terry McMillan is not the first woman this has happened to and she will not be the last. It is very sad when we make poor choices because Jonathan Plummer did not betray any masculine traits in any of the pictures I have seen...she feel like Icarus ignoring his father's warning about flying too close to the sun. Tragic and public indeed. Peace and may blessings, Mahogany, may words be your secret weapon.

Anonymous said...

I applaud Terry for coming out with her story. When the movie "How Stella got her Groove Back" came out I was alarmed and disappointed that the despicable poverty that most of these Jamaican men who con/exploit American tourist was not shown.The culture that produces these men is evil. It is not just about men and women. It is more about jealousy of American black women/men. Jealousy generated by the Jamaican women. They train their sons like evil soldiers to exploit and steal from American women and men. Most American men keep quiet when it happens to them. Jealousy is as cruel as the grave and just as deadly as poison. I thank you Terry for not being so proud that you would not tell the truth about what has happened to you. Hopefully your sharing this story will spare many unsuspecting women this same fate. You are a hero.

Anonymous said...

I think the travel industry should do a lot more to protect American women and men when we vacation. The American government should give prison sentences to these people who use, abuse and steal from American citizens to gain entry. We need tougher laws NOW.